Revive

do unto others what you want others to do unto you

2007-12-26T08:10:00.000-08:00

well the question is this is something we always seem to tell people to guide by. But somehow, few can do it. Even myself, at times, i fail.. Indeed, it is true but i guess we should all grow in patience to not just bear with what others do onto us but also listen to what others say that we do unto them. So indeed, it is both ways to change and not one. I wish everyone a belated Christmas and believe that Joy to the world for the prince of peace is Jesus.

Bracelet

2007-12-10T16:14:00.000-08:00

I did a bracelet. Heh. using the beads and a cross. Quite a noisy beads bracelet as i added two bells. I was teasing doraemon lai le.. haha. but yeah, things will be better and things will grow..

Everyone, whatever difficulty you face, remember this, its dark only because its just about to be brightened by the sunrise. God bless everyone.

Its clearer each time

2007-12-09T13:45:00.000-08:00

As things passes, it becomes clearer. How my heart will be struck and everything. Even a week ago at a class gathering, when people ask about standard chartered marathon, I was and still am proud to say she ran in 4 hours. This year, she had a better timing. still around 4 hours but faster. The worrying part is the ankle. But as i read her blog post. Actually i was crying, i wanted to run with my sister this year. I really wanted to. Not for any reasons but beacuse she is my sister that i love. I guess I must be free in my words to use love but.. i dun say it to everyone or anyone unless deep down i really feel so.. Perhaps. She was the only one that ever made a impact that said, "hey, you're not alone, I your sister and i'll protect you".. Honestly, i miss her..

finally, its over...

2007-12-08T20:08:00.000-08:00

lots of animation and games were what accompanied through this year.. a lot of hurt.. a lot of hurt a lot of hurt.. and of course there were joys... joys from people i love and care about. in their own roles, i felt joy..

The year is over.. and my journey following ms lai.. the 7 year saga.. has ended. It begings a new stage. a new stage tougher than the past. and demanding than the past.

All i can say is.. i pray that the Lord will watch over everyone.. I pray that the Lord will protect and heal and bless those i love so much.. always.. and always...

pikalet's awakening

2007-07-03T21:35:00.001-07:00

heh, i got a new record, my iirst police pullover to check on me was this morning at 4.30am odd. Funny thing is, all the innocent faces of the car makes the policeman blur i guess :P

Well the interesting thing is, i seriously didn't know he was asking me to pull over. Only until he horn me haha. But an irritating policeman though.. cause he tail me for super de long.. make me control speed at 50~60.. then all the other taxis etc all pass by me.. Zzz...

Hm.. And I though my innocent look is sufficient (hohoho) but i guess my "batman specs"(described by flower) made me look like a "badman" instead haha.

I seem to realise it's time i begin working.. time to excell, time to score and time to go wosh! Everyone, people i LlllllOoooooVvvvvvEeeeee so so much, let's go go go jia you! Let's get straight As together, believe and achieve. Gam Bah Teh!

drive

2007-06-30T02:47:00.001-07:00

I seem to notice rocky balboa is a good movie.. the storyline reaches to me.. all I can say is.. it isn't how much you've been hit that matters.. it's how much you can take and get up.. watch the movie to find out what i mean.. for those who says but i dun have time.. trust me.. this time spent is certainly worth it..

the glass ball

2007-06-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

met my psychiatrist yesterday and today my councillor in the afternoon. I can't help but feel heavy.. my mid year results grades are already fixed.. VR all the way.. I wonder.. what makes me.. so weak today.. so lost of confidence.. at first i felt like the drive was coming back after my sis spent so much time, energy and effort to cheer me back up.. bit by bit she did.. bit by bit i told myself i must study though i lost someone i loved dearly as she said she was better and able to recover faster this way... Yet my own fault.. because of a lack of communication.. a communication whereby it was my sister not wanting to make his trouble brother worry.. broke down.. and that.. make me reactions terrible.. I felt unbearable.. I was lost at what was going on... all i knew was... drink.. drink like you are drinking graveyard and the pain should take you away.. and if you read it carefully.. it's pain... not drunk.. For that it was what hurt my sister.. i still remember it clearly.. one bus stop before departing.. she type on the phone.. "you might as well kill me".. till today...i remember those words and the disappointed and hurt look.. I feel remoreseful.. yet.. i seem to not get another chance of forgiveness anymore.. Today.. is a day.. i for 4 times looked forward to.. and for 4 times.. all were shattered.. Once was last year august.. another was december.. later was april.. then next was may... but all four was shattered.. I guess I shall say to the Lord "I praise you in this storm.. O Lord I will praise you as tough times may be.."

My psychiatrist.. he said.. she is right.. you are a glass ball.. though transparent and pure.. yet fragile and weak.. you are very smart.. you have big dreams.. but i tell you.. you won't get it.. until u change ur character.. I want you to be a gang4 tie3 (steel ball)..
My tutor said.. you are so different from the other students i taught.. your simplicity makes others love you.. your purity makes you love others truely.. and most importantly.. at just your age.. you know what you want.. and you want them for the people around you that you love.. Being a doctor isn't really for yourself.. but to save others(family) you choose to take it.. does your other half know? I replied "yes she knows, i did explain why too.. even the part in trying to save flower".. he continues.. you are indeed different.. responsibility and the simplicity of true care and love.. I really wish to help you.. I dun want to see you fail at anything.. I tasted a drop in my results in the first year of university.. I dun wish to see you not get your dreams.. I know this is the biggest turning point in your life time.. Indeed I agree.. And for these people i know.. I shall not disappoint.. for the people I care and love.. I shall save.. for the one that is to stand beside me in front of the pastor.. I shall make her proud.. Today.. is my birthday.. a day of heaviness but a day of a dragon raoring.. a day where the angel shalll fly once more..

sorry bro

2007-06-15T03:12:00.001-07:00

sorry bro, your birthday i couldn't make it. Happy Birthday Kiat. Will buy you dinner after midyears when i'm more available... sorry about it :(.
hope you had a wonderful dinner and God bless you always :)

Messy world messy powers.. I need to control the different gifts.. afterall... mewtwo needed gadgets.. so do i :(

dunno how to comment

2007-04-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

this post is really simple but yet means a lot to me... I'm asking for prayers.. for what i dun know how to say directly.. it is just two pieces of jigsaw puzzles that meet, know, enjoy each other and refuse to accept they have fitted so perfectly.. guys.. pray for us.. please.. thank you..

I believe

2007-04-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

The Lord works. Maybe it may not be "for" us but it is for us. hehe. tough one to understand? the first means something else.. our own desires and our own wishes..

Indeed, He didn't given me everything i asked for but He has given me everything I hoped for.. That is sufficient.. I seem to understand why He shakens my faith. But only to a level where it still exist as the flame will never die but very small flame.. then when He rebuilts it, it's with a flame that burns even brighter.

Will be going for the healing crusade at indoor stadium today.. i seem to realise it's the second time i'm told to go.. the first time wasn't "aimed at me" as in just casually and not telling me but the second was by my church mate.. have a little problem trying to get his no. but i'll be there and i'll pray for him there as well.. get well again.. play soccer again.. but like i said in the second paragraph.. He has given everything we can ever hope for..

guys sit back and enjoy the music.. i know hillsongs is good, i know planet shakers is not bad either but this.. i feel the lyrics speak so clearly to our hearts and to our souls.. praise the Lord even in the storm my friends...

tired

2007-03-30T23:20:00.000-07:00

i feel so tired so weak.. like i can't get out of bed.. like everything is so weak.. so dizzy so blur.. what's going on.. if the drug effects all smashing on me again at one goal? everything is spinning.. help..

Taming the Tiger.

2007-03-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

I went for a service at Bedestha Bedok Tampines Church(hope spell correct) last saturday 24-03-2007. The speaker was a guest speaker, Tony Anthony. A 3 time Kungku champion sad to say, i didn't bring back any trophies from my years of martial arts. Well his service was great, he shared how much wrong he has done, how his aggressiveness disappeared but more importantly which speaks to me most, "we are forgiven"
He quoted John 8:36 "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed"
I quoted 1 Timothy 1:15-16 "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners. Christ Jesus might display his unlimited palience as an example for those who would believe on him and recieve eternal life"
It is so great to know that we are forgiven.. really is..

I'm down with Flu, so that means the dragon is sick and tamed? haha, what a way of putting it. But I must say that my aggressiveness has disappeared a lot.

tired

2007-03-13T18:05:00.000-07:00

hm.. well i got the class 3 license now... in fact i'm a learner of class 2b now..by army finish i'll get class 2.. this is so as i need the transportation.. but i'll drag the time to get the license.. don't want owner to get angry or worried.. at least.. for this year..

ha.. block test is coming and i just started my revision yesterday.. let's see.. i think i only want to pass this time.. will only chase grades for mid year.. too occupied with health problems etc..

wishing all best of luck and block test for whatever you do..

coincidences? I dun think so

2007-02-16T07:06:00.000-08:00

Ha.. indeed, the life of a Christian is not smooth and full of surprises. Both happy and sad. Way cool is the word. Watched Ghost Rider today. To be honest, if i'm him I will choose to sign the contract too because afterall, it is someone so dear and close that one love. But I can't imagine myself as a skull.. pigs dun look good in bones..

Even the items i bought are so "coincident" praise the Lord. The friends, the gifts, the timings and my health today. All is but wonderful timings of the Lord. He has His time and that i must remember always. Teach me oh Lord. Discipline me oh Lord for I do not wish to be a ilegitimate son.

photos photos and more photos.

2007-01-27T20:40:00.001-08:00

well.. two weeks back, i went down to SR for my chingay training. I was wearing SR tshirt and MJ pants.. so as expected i got the most attention.. in fact the group leader was asking.. are you sure you are from my group? there is no one in the name list from SR...

later after trianing there was meeting but before finding them i went around level 1 of SR to see the areas where my old memories lie.. So here are some photos..

first up the new seats for the VIP sector.. well at the gallary there used to be where we put our bags before we go for PE..

Next up, pushcarts in the canteen.. wonder what they'll sell..

the aquarium.. arh.. fish? no.. it's actually a study area.. we use to chill there.. well to see the difference in the past and present.. here's another shot of my old classmates in there..

a wall in SR..

well for the rest of the pics.. have to ask me personally.. the uploading is taking way forever.. it's in my handphone though.. so can show anytime =)

enjoy ur weekend everyone.. cheers..

photo post..

2007-01-07T02:23:00.000-08:00

Ok.. here's something illegal... but the sky just look so good.. i took this with my handphone along ECP lol... beautiful night sky.. from changi towards west.. The world is a evidence of God's beutiful works.. yet somehow.. we are destroying them each day..

but guys.. if u sit my car.. buy insurance.. the more i drive.. the faster i drive.. everything just seems so slow..

Haha.. went to mos to meet christopher(my secondary school CCA mate..) end up.. reach there they say.. let's go jalan kayu eat prata.. and i'm like.. oh ok... well at least here's the good news.. they get to see my car parked in the garage..

No i'm just kidding.. lambo and ferrari is not my cup of tea.. i like lexus and lotus would fit me.. but tat's after i start working and have the spare cash for such luxuries.. afterall.. if i'm to be a HR manager, i have to mange my staff and meet clients.. certainly i can't meet CEOs and drive them in a nissan cefiro or toyota camry.. what impresion will i be giving them..

christmas sms to all

2006-12-26T23:49:00.000-08:00

Ok.. the sms lagggggeeeedddd my phone to the max.. 100+ smses.. 20+ at each goal.. and it really laggs... but oh well what's important is the joy and love is spread to all..

ha. i guess many don't seem to understand my Christmas message for all.. many a time we struggle.. many a times we wonder.. God are you just trying to test me.. bring me out of this.. bring me out of this disaster and terrible feeling.. but the fact is.. we didn't stop to remember that He loves us all along.. that He sent His only son to die for us.. that we may be forgiven.. then how can we say God is not loving us.. God is not treating us right.. He has His purpose and reasons.. and so we rejoice.. For those struggling.. remember.. God loves us.. Jesus loves us.. and so.. rejoice.. rejoice this Christmas.. rejoice this thanksgiving and rejoice for the year to come..

All in one...

2006-12-20T06:12:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I shall bead, jog, swim, pack my room, practice saxophone and study.. All in one day.. I believe i have the ability.. I shall book my driving lesson.. I believe it can be done.. Father will help me.. Mac here i come tomorrow...

Ha..

2006-12-18T20:33:00.000-08:00

Everything indeed happens for a reason... The bible studies i attended on Discipleship explored.. spoke to me.. not once.. twice.. but many a times that i forgot to count.. recently with all the return of emotions and memories.. i came across de part on paul saying in 1 Timothy 1:16 "But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of Sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and recieve eternal life.".. sounds like nothing isn't it? but someone like me.. who hasn't sinned anywhere lss than paul.. it speaks to my heart and soul.. but still.. i'm not ready to forgive myself though God has forgiven me.. Still I believe someday I shall.. I encourage those struggling to hold on to faith.. faith that God may not bring you out of the suffering but he'll give you all you need to pull through... And it's need not wants.. but needs is all that's necessary.. and in it.. we rejoice.. in it we know God has show us love and grace..

Ha since yesterday's gathering was with a friend who studies in brunei he was telling us about brunei.. same currency exchange rate as SG but so much more different.. he said.. half a day and i think i can bring u around de whole of brunei.. de only shopping district is 3mins walk to pass through.. i was like.. ok.. tat's bad.. den my other friend was telling us about the places he travelled with his GF.. he compared to brunei and said.. still ok la.. tat time go bukit worst lor.. de whole place only got **XYZ*** one shopping complex.. and because it's a tourism site, everything is so expensive.. no point buying things there unlike bangkok.. he also added... but there's something good.. you go there.. no license also can drive.. i gave him my student pass not driving license.. after i hear i was like stunt... he added further.. but there also not bad.. got very nice beach.. (censored de rest due to words and topics he said that might be sensitive) den de roads there lagi best.. he said to me.. Div you should go.. play so much initial D and know how to drive.. go get a car there and drift ur way up and down de slopes.. i was once again stunt... but no harm giving it a try right? nah i'm just joking.. i'll probably be killed by someone
(*eye rolling*) ha...

Argh.. Haven't start studying.. hopefully.. by tomorrow.. i can start studying.. so much homework to do.. and zero i have done... Father Lord help me please i ask and pray in Jesus name, Amen.

Hm...

2006-12-17T03:46:00.000-08:00

Today i drove the car out cause the main gate button a bit spoilt.. so yups.. took daddy's car.. drove it to the main gate to open then drive out and do a 3 point turn... go back in... opps.. lucky no TP keke... Jogging, swimming, cycling.. here i come!!!

From today's lesson onwards, everyday is a mock test

2006-12-12T08:25:00.000-08:00

Haha.. today my first mock test.. super gan chiong.. ended up.. i did fail haha... 30+ points lol.. lucky still got 2mths.. was like so gan chiong until forget some procedures... pole.. I never touch before while parking.. end up..today scratch pass... Zzz.. Kerb... 3 times... and one time fail to use engine brake.. Zz...

Flu bug is getting me.. can't play my instrument nor even have the energy to study... argh..

argh..

2006-12-08T02:50:00.000-08:00

Ha.. today's driving.. mount kerb twice.. touch kerb twice.. and instructor said.. you check blindspot too late and dun use the mirror as a guage.. you just happily turn.. Ha.. I guess I'm getting overconfident.. Father lord, I pray for humility..

Yeas i'm in carolling.. The service of God shall be more and more each day.. Father Lord I love you so much so much.. more than anything or anyone. =D I can lose my status. I can lose my money. I can lose my life and family(which i believe you won't be so mean) but Father Lord all but you. I might be playing the saxophone.. Silent Night by Kenny G.. hur hur.. pressure.. the song no problem.. but when it's meant for kenny G, there must be some level of demand involved.. Father Lord give me your strength and guidance to play it well. For the people we carol to. For the service of you Father God, I ask and pray this to you.

driving

2006-12-07T07:24:00.000-08:00

I passed my Final Theory Test as expected.. Afterall, Jason say.. if you don't pass the rest can forget about passing Zzz..

I had a camp earlier. So cool, can clock another 10 hours of CIP =) my aim to get the 85 hours is nearer =D
Helping others is like helping yourself. For those who don't do CIP, please consider.

Tomorrow there's driving lesson, will book my driving test date and should be able to get my license in Feb provided all goes well..

to my mei mei,
heya, Div here lost your no. so cannot message you.. don't know if you'll get to see this but I'll pray for you. For peace at heart and a good sunrise tomorrow =)
Abba Father Lord, I pray to you for mei mei that she may find the peace of you that she may overcome this tough time and live strong and well. Father Lord i believe you'll bless her and guide her to do the right things that she may emerge not just someone who overcome the hurdles but also with growth and positive thinking. All this i pray in Jesus name, Amen.

argh..

2006-11-29T20:09:00.000-08:00

ha.. today i met an instructor that lives by the rule "I eat salt more than you eat rice" and " i've been in this industry for so long".. Really no intention to repeat what he said to me and his own mistakes besides the over speed limit one.. the road on Eunos link is 50km/h there got sign board.. then he say i drive too slow at 45km/h... I tell him the speed limit is 50 he insist nono.. is 60.. then after the U-turn i pass by the road and see the signboard again stating 50km/hr.. caoz.. i really feel like telling him on the spot.. "see see.. 50 ma.."

Moreover.. he at first complain say i drive never care about the front only care about the back.. so i end up care the front.. then when finish one test route he tell me turn back in the centre.. he said " follow the car in front " and i was like.. "ok" then i stop there and waited.. then he tell me.. "didn't i tell you follow the car in front?".. I replied " well the car is right in front of me also waiting to turn in isn't it?".. then he said.. "you block the car behind fom passing.. you can keep more to the right one what".. So i replied him "it's a single carriage way so i didnt bother.." then he say " you want listen listen, you dun want listen then nevermind lor at most take test fail.." felt like telling him.. "give instructions also dun give clear one.. then somemore i didn't make any traffic offence or really obstruct others cause it's a single carriageway ma.. see me right from the start got highlight hair jiu bu shuang then say la.." Then later at bedok reservoir road i stop close to the bus in front then he said.. "why you stop so near to the bus.. what is the stopping distance.. then i said "10 metre... around 2 car length.." then he complain again.. "where got 2 car length.. is 1 car length only.. 4.2m.. I been in this industry for so long.. who tell you is 10m?" I replied.. "the book lor.." then he complain again "what book?" then i like wanted to tell him.. " Final theory or basic theory book la.. duh.." but i replied "theory book, i pass all theory test with 98-100% results" then he say " that's why i strange ma.. you go home read your book.. Somemore i ask you, in front more important or behind?" of course as a model answer student i'll say behind right.. then he reply "then why you care so much about the back".. At that point.. all in my mind is.. "wa caoz.. i really hot until want to kaboom liao".. Block other cars on a single carriageway he complain i no care about behind.. then later stop closer to the bus then can let other cars turn into the filter lane he complain i should care about the front and back..

Caoz.. what the hell does he want.. I wanted to tell him.. you so smart go for Final Theory Test again la.. Contridict your own words then still say my fault.. then teach also dun want patient.. if i have license still need to go for driving lessons meh? like duh.. caoz.. stupid instructor lor.. worst part is.. on the way back.. he put his hand on my driver's seat then block 1/3 of my rear mirror.. I was thinking.. "kaoz.. you really nothing better to do is it.. want accident arh.." So yups.. there ends my piss off driving lesson.. always hate the people who keep using.. "experience as a superiorty" experience is limited to what we do.. and is not necessary right.. traffic rules change constantly and we should update.. he himself never update.. even the road speed limit at Eunos Link change he also dunno then still gay kiang say 60.. i bet if i told him to see the signboard when pass by he sure will find a 100 and 1 excuses to cover up... I so long in the industry of import and export.. trained in scriptwriting, acting and media related works(advertising) even teachers or classmates say no good i also listen and try to change and adapt to suit them.. what more say an instructor..

Ha. besides the point.. I think some would have realise i got a highlighted hair le.. haha.. yesterday hair cut and highlight.. heng i today got driving so no need go back sch.. midnight then i recieve the message.. Meeting tomorrow morning at 0900 am outside cafe.. wa caoz.. if i sleep le bu shi bu zhi dao.. then somemore book driving lesson le.. need 2 days in advance to cancel.. not as though i dun want go meeting.. cause i missed 2 le.. but is really he too late tell me right.. Zzz.. haiz.. what a day...

driving noob expert..

2006-11-28T17:15:00.000-08:00

haha.. i realise something.. got one instructor complain say my reaction too slow.. actually.. is cause i have no interest to slow down... i keep squeezing between gaps.. and that made him frighten like mad.. cause until now.. i'm still not too used to the size of the car..

Guess what? My fixed instructor is going for the marathon haha.. So cool.. oh ya.. he commented that i was driving a bit recklessly at one part.. the eunos link to make U-turn.. cause the lorry beside want to block me from overtaking.. so i "drag com" with him. haha.. then end up.. he give up let me pass.. i was like 30km/h on 1st gear and 50km/h on the 2nd... lol...

2nd i'm going to sentosa.. yups.. decided to spend some time with my ex classmates and catch up a bit.. my 1st 3 months SR mates.. but the turn up rate everytime very low haiz... hope it'll be good this time round =)

service

2006-11-26T01:09:00.000-08:00

argh.. yesterday i needed a break.. oh well.. today i went for service elsewhere so guess it makes up?? Ha. the service seems like it was meant for me.. long story to explain so don't bother asking unless msn or in person or call =P

Well.. i haven't been cycling.. i want to cycle... but time is running out..

So cool... Now my pencil case is pink ! it's piglet.. i still remember when i was at CDC and asking the counter girl.. "where did you get this pooh and eyore pencil case from" then she was like telling me.. "it's cute right? i got it from great world city".. well as expected.. lazy piglet here and easily lost won't go great world city.. but guess what? i found it at PS!!! yups.. so now i have this pink piglet pencil case wakaka.. and for you guys who are saying.. "Div.. it's pink you know.." i'll say.. "and so? I like piglet and i dun bother about what others will say or think of me" .. besides.. who says pink is a girls colour =P

right time to go now.. take care everyone.. will pray for those who has finished their A levels. =)

Cycling

2006-11-21T02:52:00.000-08:00

Woah.. I cycled this morning.. literally.. 1am lol.. yups.. cycled around 60km odd.. break around 3am somewhere at east coast to do my bible studies.. ha.. yes.. bible studies at the beach.. so calm.. so quiet.. Pass by east coast.. bedok reservoir.. and a lot of other places.. kembangan mrt.. chia chee street etc.. almost went to pasir ris park haha.. an advice.. get a companion to cycle around bedok reservoir at night.. it's really freaky...

I need a tan.. so yups.. think i'll get some swimming done on friday or saturday..

Driving been bad.. think i'm super distracted.. stall car.. shift gear wrong.. accelerate too much.. turn without checking bling spot.. i'm a racer.. but yet.. i can make such mistakes.. Argh.. tomorrow driving how will i be like?

Walking

2006-11-16T00:20:00.000-08:00

These few days I have been traveling.. Indeed, travelling makes a person feel more calm and relax.. Lots to think lots to do.. but actually.. it's because I can't seem to quieten down myself.. I need to stock up a bit.. To me, it's prepare for the next winter and not prepare for the storm ahead..

Dun seem to know what to write.. besides the word fear.. exhile... links with fear... link with my intensive berserks today that Div almost couldn't control.. I seem to feel fear.. Why.. I am Div.. how can i feel fear? But yes.. indeed... it is strong...

My fist.. my strength.. my other 2... may I say good bye... I seem to feel that very soon.. I'll have to fight again.. But it's alright.. life is not to fear but to live it the way God wants us to.. a quote that I'm learning to live by.. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.. Even if I dun recieve salvation but end up in hell forever I'm not afraid or shaken my faith..

40 days.

2006-11-01T03:27:00.000-08:00

hm. life's great in general. Honestly. I must admit the part about the 40 days fasting is alittle getting out of hand but should be alright soon.it's past 30 days i believe.. so should be left 10 days or so. Doc expects another 3 weeks >.< oh well.. Guess I have to fulfill the 40 days fasting as promised and so no one to blame.. Just hope it heals after the 40days quickly.. But to be honest.. The prayer i requested for was in a way answered.. and for that I thank God =)

Rob- B Hood is a fantastic show. If any of you hasn't watch it yet, better catch it soon or get the DVD when it's out. All I can say is "comedy, action and storyline it lacks in nothing". To be detailed, there's nice action and ideas, comedy makes me laugh a lot(especially with the company :P) but most importantly, the storyline is realistic and touching. In fact I was moved to tears it's just I kinda wiped it off in time haha. Relationships is indeed an interesting topic many of us face(some even frequently) yet few can handle it right and well. For instance, I'm one of them haha. The show suggest some real true issues that everyone knows but fail to do so. Trust and Space. It's true, every couple tody knows that they should trust their partner completely and give the space they need. The question is how much to trust and how much space to give that makes it fit just right? It doesn't just come from experience. It is relative. Everyone is different. A different partner will have a different set of needs and wants. I'm learning too. For me, i'm learning to trust a partner completely and giving as much space as the partner needs. But I do ask something in return too that is to keep me informed of how they feel and any sensitive issues (eg going out with another guy). Main reason is, complete trust, understanding, space and strong relationship comes from the root word "Communication". If we dun say how we feel or think and let it pile up, some day it will be too much to take and end up with a failure relationship or often quarrels. So yups, good communication reduces the probability of a quarrel or misunderstanding significantly. =)

I read through more of the bible today. To be honest, it feels sweet. Somehow.. it's like peace at the heart.. Like something guiding me and teaching me.. I hope to be closer and deeper in love with God =) Bring me to you Lord. =)

cycling trips like walk with Christ

2006-10-29T01:35:00.000-08:00

This post is a little hurry.. so if anything wrong do forgive tired Div.

Yups, that's my bike. Will train with this girl regularly.
So far.. I clocked 60km le.. training up for a night cycle on 7-11-2006.. The route's not settle yet.. Still planing.. Should be ok by November reaches.. Hm.. I still haven't give this Bike a name.. anyone got a suggestion?

I just cleaned the Bike. Actually it makes me feel like cycling is like a walk with Christ.. There are rough journeys on the bumby mountains(though there's non in Singapore >.<) and smooth journeys on the cycling track but as long as we hold on to the faith in the bike just like how we hold on to the faith in God, we can overcome any obstacle in the way.. And after all the riding is done when we are tired and overcomed the obstacle, we must not forget to thank our bikes by giving it a through wash and maintenance care. Likewise, we pray and thank God for all the blessings He has given us. Have a little quiet time and take the time and effort to understand God and do His will.

I'm on my road to recovering my body and health.. I'll be strong and healthy again..

Friday night I had a driving lesson. All I can say is.. The instructor was surprised.. He said "your cornering keep too much too the right and your biting point is not good but i dun understand why you maneuver the car in the serious of bends and sharp bend so well even at second gear". Guess that's the price I pay for racing too much go kart.. haiz.. now i can't kick off the habit of sticking too close to the side... But nvm.. I shall work hard and change all these mistakes away just like how i'll change my bad habits in life away. =) I have faith. =)

1st november is my basic theory test. Should be alright though i'm a bit nervous. Wish everyone who's taking their A levels, O levels and taking PW to Jia you and excell =) Will pray for everyone. God Bless =)

GT

2006-10-27T04:48:00.000-07:00

argh.. I overbudgeted this month.. and I know there's still more to come.. There's something I must get.. But for that item, I saved it up since august.. So it's not the typical draw money and pay.. but money i saved up day by day, bit by bit..

Well.. I got a bike today.. It's GT avalanche 1.0(forgot how to spell :P).. well, trying to train back my stamina so as to stabalize my condition.. I'll recover in time..

Yesterday I had my first bible studies.. It wasn't with young people but mostly adults.. of which my group even has a grandma of 3 children, 6 grandchildren haha.. A lot to learn.. Each day, though it's slow, I feel closer to God. =) Somehow i feel God's work in me.. and i'm certain He will finish the good work He has done in me =)

Shall limit the things i blog here. Well think she knows which other place to go to see.

I couldn't go

2006-10-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

Lord, I'm sorry I couldn't go for overnight prayers last night. I think you know why and I shan't explain here in case others worry.

Have to rest at home today. It's getting out of hand. Hopefully at night I can go out awhile.

Wonder when will be the next time i can go for an overnight prayer. Lord I want to be closer to you. Help me find my way back to you in your arms.
Read about mustard seed faith. I seem to gradually understand it. I realise I should not compare myself to other Christians about their faith towards God etc but rather, I should slowly but steadily move closer to God and build a faith on my own that is unbreakable.

Prayers for a team-mate. My condolenses. Sorry I didn't know you really needed company the other day. But i'm glad Vin managed to help you feel better =) Will keep you in my prayers.

I wore my first pair of contact lense yesterday. Actually I wished she could be there to see. Wanted to see her with my own eyes and not through glasses. I guess I'll have to leave it for another time. Hope she's doing fine. I think I'll just stick to smses once in 1 or 2 days to check up on her and that should be about it. Hope to give as much space as she needs. Like the saying goes. If a person really means a lot to you, you would want the person to be happy. She was like in an invisible cage that i unknownly created. Sorry I was too sticky. I know I said sorry a lot of times but it's because i really didn't mean to hurt you.

understanding

2006-10-22T05:03:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly, Div borrowed 2 books from the library. It's been years since i did so. But recently these few months i have been going to the library to read. To read on psychology, teenage behaviour, an illness and stress management. I hope i can change in time. I'm learning to be a better person.

Bibble studies hm. Well i not sure if i can hadle 2 places at once. Maybe i'll finish one first. I have driving these days so i'm going to be super tight schedule after next week. Hope the days dun clash. it should be alright then =)

Give me time. I'm learning.

Doc says no going to gym but i need to distract myself. Maybe i'll still go.

Tomorrow i'm going for overnight prayers. God please know i truely love you =)

eyes

2006-10-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

Hm... this post.. is a bit lame... I just bought a gucci shades from Paragon.. Cost me a bomb hur hur... 410 lol.. for a pair of shades >.<... Oh well.. yes.. I know I should not be spending such money.. My eyes are getting sored these days.. time to hide them from others...

Now I hear the comments.." Div, you should be happy with your results". "Many are trying to pass". Well.. I have my reasons of course.. I wasn't really interested to compete with the others.. rather.. I was only hoping to get H3.. because I know too well.. with a good CCA testimonial.. trying to do more CIP... Getting Straight As for A levels is insufficient for a scholarship.. I need it badly.. for a few reasons that I shall not share... All I can and will say is.. It means a lot a lot a lot a lot to me... I have to do well and get the scholarship.. Like my counseller told me the other time.. It's a die die zero error mission... Cannot fail.. And for my promos.. I carried that spirit and forced my way through.. Now that one hurdle is cleared.. the others are more distintly obvious and clear to me that I have to do well.. It's not just for myself anymore..

Blindly in love? No. I'm clear headed.

bfgf? X

2006-10-18T23:25:00.000-07:00

Today i recieved my final paper.. Physics.. As my tutor said.. disappointments...

My side.. i made 21mks of careless mistakes... *claps*... I thought for promo i'll elimate or minimize such errors.. ended up... I made so many mistakes... So many.. i can't quite forgive myself... I got a B.. but i could have gotten a mid A.. What a joke... My rankings.. fell again.. from 11 to 13 to now.. out of ranks..

So yups.. here ends my journey for promotional exams...

Math A-65
Physics B-63
Econs E-49.7

Geog D-39
GP C-55.5

If anyone noticed yet.. I got a straight >.<.... Sucky isn't it.. if i eliminated the careless mistakes.. I'll gotten AAD DC... Zz.. and now.. i get a straight... Can apply for H3.. but if u are the teacher.. would you give? No isn't it.. ha..

Hm.. yesterday keep calling the clinic to readjust the appointments.. in the end.. still clash.. haha.. should have sticked to the first one.. which is.. 1145.. so i can be back in the afternoon.. I guess God doesn't want me to meet her just yet.. Please take extra care.. please do ok?
Oh ya.. why do you choose mustard and not other seeds? Do let me know next time you see me =P

Vin asked me how come I thought jerking is because change gear too early.. Well I found out why.. since no one tell me.. and this problem never occur to me before.. of course i thought is because change gear too early lor...

Not updating on the recent incidents that almost made me want to explode and fight.. thankfully.. the beast was tamed... Not updating about my health either.. All i can say is.. repairing and should be alright..

A promised kept

2006-10-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

Title: a promised kept?
dedicated to Tabitha

I wish i could tell you personally.. I really wish the one beside me when i took the paper is you.. I didn't get the top few rankings but i made 2 improvemnts and I also kept part of my promise.. I made fewer careless mistakes and I can qualify for H3 Math =).. I'm waiting for the rest of the papers to assure you every single promise is kept.

I know I should be doing all these for myself.. But I really want you to know how much I care and how much you mean to me.. I'm not asking for you to love me again but rather i'll be patient and wait.. as time will prove my love for you.. God will be the centre of the relationship.. He will be the sheepherd who will guide us through =) I know the UK things sounds far but i'm just planning and working towards it so I can give you a good life in the future =) more importantly. I'll work for our future with my own hard work and effort. For you I can and I will.. I'm still faithful to you.. I'm learning to love you better =)

Future too far away?

2006-10-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

She'll be out tomorrow =) Yeah ! Praise God =) Love you God =) Really do. Winks*

And God.. Help me make you no.1 in my heart.. for i noe too well.. for any step I take to be truely God's will I have to first place u as my no.1, my leader.. my centre.. my soul =)

I just checked out with Ben regarding studying in UK. Well, because there's dis special Visa that allows us to get a 2yrs working holiday Visa there, I can get to work there and save up for the masters I intend to take in UK. UK has de best few universities recognised all over the world.. N tat's y i want to go there.. I'll get a good education.. good job n pay.. n make sure she and her family will live happily =)

In fact.. I even did a calculation... Everything is in Pounds
Expenses in UKper dayF&B: 18Petrol: 20Housing: 20For 3yrs : 62640 Estimated Cost for a 1yr Masters for Business(MBA)20000 Earnings for 2yrs Mon- FriOffice hours from 10am-3pm: 100Part time 3 hours: 18

Sat- Sun
Part Time 9hrs: 54

Monthly Income 2792
Total 2yrs: 67008

In otherwords.. working for 2yrs.. i'll be able to cover my expenses during the masters.. but problem is.. the money to pay for the course.. n the money for the car... So i guess i'll have to start saving during army... Meaning.. i dun get to spend much or waste much.. I'll have to work very very hard... I know it sounds strange.. as in.. why a 18 yr old is talking about his life up till 30.. but many failed to make the right decision because they didn't plan enough.. for me.. i dun want to make a wrong decision in life...

I want to earn most of the masters course by myself n not depend on any other person.. I'll prove that i am independent.. I'll prove that i love her n can provide for her.. i'll get the best placing n i'll earn enough for the retirement by the beach.. I'll have to slogg very hard for many years.. but i believe God wants me to work hard n then reap wat i sowed with a big warm smile n tears of happiness.. N tat after i've earn their approval n trust.. i'll still love her as much and more each day.. taking care of her.. n providing only the best for her =)

I'll wait.. i'll be patient.. till God is the centre of our relationship n it is He who guides us through our relationship thick and thin.. I'll be patient.. I'll wait.. 1yr.. 10yrs or a life time.. I promise.. But u must promise me too.. when we are back together.. never doubt our future ahead again.. God has great plans for us.. and i'm certain we'll make happiness come true =)

Open house

2006-10-13T16:52:00.000-07:00

Haha. yesterday open house my back very de pain. Like become blangadash worker like that. Ouch haha. Nvm a few days later and i should be well again =)

Now having breakfast then rushing to finish notes, later study driving n read the bible =)

Feeling very sick today. All the weight i carried yesterday made me feel my muscles aching all over =(

Argh.. these few weeks i have been getting injured.. from my fist bleeding to my back injured.. then i fell down while rushing to buy breakfast.. then yesterday lift the ice cream freezer and got pierced into something at my finger.. haiz..

Now.. need to ask everyone.. anyone knows how to add song inside the blog? can teach Div here? many thanks =)

Back home

2006-10-12T08:43:00.000-07:00

I'm back in God's arms. In Christ's path and found back the holy spirit in me =)

Not much to say about her(if duno means dun bother asking =P) besides she's getting well and should be out this weekend =). Thanks for all the wonderful prayers and visitors to and for her. Thanks a million =).

Div has also decided to give up his martial art and drama aspirations.
I'm forgoing my advance drama course(due to reactions i expect, i'm not saying why).
I guess I must disappoint my current. hm.. ex coach.. Well his favourite disciple decided to no longer train martial arts.. Guess my dream of mastering 5 kinds i only fulfilled 2.3... It's alright.. God has given me more than enough in martial arts and out of martial arts =). I can't ask for more from life. Just seeing someone happy is enough to fill all that empty gaps and holes =).

A long time since i blogged but unfortunately, i can't stay to chat. Tomorrow there's open house. So i wish it a success and everyone have a pleasant day ahead. God Bless everyone =)
~Toast from Div~

Hypnosis

2006-09-22T02:24:00.000-07:00

Date blogged: 22-09-2006
I haven't been studying these few days. It's going out of hand. My mental & physical health has been on the decline. I have thought through a little and realise it's best now i give you all the time and space you need. I'm setting you free now.

Darling, by the time you are seeing this, it most likely means promos is over.
When you read my blog it probably means that our date after physics paper was not smooth or i've forgotten it. I probably won't get to see you for two weeks and if i did. I think i won't remember. I have choosen to take the path of hypnosis. I know it sounds surprising but i don't know how else to go about to let you stay focus and study. I guess you didn't know that my pimples and swollen lips and stuff are not coincidence. The stress has piled beyond my capacity. If i forget you, please don't blame me. I don't mean to forget but just temporarily. When everything is over.. please let me know.. let me know how i chased you.. how our first date was like.. how we get to know each other.. how i fell for you and more importantly... how i love you... I will love you all over again.. I promise =) Darling.. take care.. if you ask me.. are all these sacrifices worth.. I would say.. yes they are.. to me.. you are worth. always.. I love you darling.. I love you with all my heart and life.. God bless you always.. please don't keep quiet again.. or i'll never remember... I let you go because I love you and i hope you know.. but find me back and bring me back with u after all the stormy weather is over.. I dun want to be left out in the dark.. Promise me alright? I take it as it is a promise and you won't break it. I love you.. I really do...

For people who are surprised and find div(fist) doing a stupid decision to cut of his hair and hypnosis, don't.. it's worth it all.. she's worth it.. she may not be a pretty girl who is tall with beautiful features but she is beautiful inside who always care for me, loves me despite how my physical appearance has become. She is the most beautiful woman i've seen. And I truely love her. Farewell my good friends.. farewell.. study hard for promos and A levels.. life doesn't come twice.. let me say it one last time before i forget... everyone pls understand...

DARLING I REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH <3
After promos i'll remember.. i will...

you're beautiful

2006-09-04T07:31:00.000-07:00

Title: You're beautiful.

Today is our 1 mth anniversary. Due to lack of time, i can only blog in one place and not both.
Today is one of my happiest days in life. Because now i know my darl loves me too.
I'm learning to love her better, to understand her habits, her likes and dislikes and of course learn to like things she likes =) It will take time, probably a lifetime but it's ok. I'm gona spend my whole lifetime learning to love her more each day and love her better.

Today Robin seem to give me a different perception of him. Though there was the joke by feeding my darl which made me feel a little jealous( I think darl knew cause she was looking at me after that.. well.. i'm alittle jealous of course.. it does feel alittle em sad.. but i know she's just playing so it's ok ) and the singing of the wedding song that made me feel super shy.. but he's really quite understanding too.. in terms of not going over board and to give me and my girl a little personal space on the train. Thanx robin =)

Argh.. at the library was really so embarrassing.. my little spoiled(both meanings) stomach of mine grumbled so loudly today haiz.. Well but i also partially to blame cause i forgot to eat medicine in macdonalds.. Pretty careless of me to forget to eat medicine.. And Darl rushed out to get me a sandwhich worrying that my grumbling stomach will become a hurting stomach(gastric pain)... She got me a egg sandwhich.. Actually i haven't eaten that for years because i can't quite stand the taste of mashed egg mixed together after it's cold.. You know what. this time.. it taste nice =) It taste especially sweet and nice <3 it's the first food that darl has bought for me to eat and me only. Moreover, it's because she cares and worries of my health.. So somehow.. the taste felt much bearable and sweeter.. in fact I managed to finish it =) I duno how to tell her how happy and how touched i am.. It's a small thing but means a big thing =) thnx darling.

There won't be more sweet talk about me and her for this post as I think what i feel and want to tell my darl is already told to her.

I can't bear to throw the flowers away because when i see them, I remember of you, remember of my love for you. I'll keep it till it withers. Though as each day it withers, my heart and love for you grows more instead. The physical flowers wither but the flowers in my heart will always blossom. More each day <3. If someday I lose my memory and god lets me choose what to forget and what not to, i'll choose to never forget you, never forget the beautiful times we spend together and never forget I love you. Even if i do forget, i'll work hard to remember. If i can't i'll then learn to love you once more. But i'll love you even more than before.

Well it hasn't end yet.. it's commercial break...

Off to music lesson

Well I'm back.. Due to the high possibility of me not having time to blog from tomorrow onwards.. I have decided to dedicate more time tonight to write up this post..

Continuation of my post after music lesson:

Well I just finish music lesson. It has been a long time since I last attend music lesson. Lost touch a little but still can play haha.

Oh ya.. The flu bugg attacked me more.. Argh.. my nose is now blocked.. Hope fever doesn't come up too >.< well.. not gonna tell my darl it's worsen le.. cause dun want her to worry but at the same time i promised to let her know so ya.. choose to say here.. at least when she see this post.. I'm most likely better already and she won't have to worry that much =)

Another thing happened during music lesson.. I was playing the song entitled Havana. It's a soothing love jazz song by KennyG.. so I was playing a phrase that is really sweet and lovely.. then I remembered darl.. I remembered our times together and I recalled just now.. So it’s the first time I blushed playing a saxophone haha.. and I ended up playing a lot of mistakes after that =P. but it's ok.. the music felt like it has a pinch of love in it <3

Well.. now that I look back at today.. I at first thought I was being nice and understanding by now having icecream and sharing food.. because I thought that though it's a anniversary but if we do share icecream together etc then I'm being selfish and not considerate about her.. However.. I still realize I committed a selfish act...

Hm.. I kinda wonder whether it was a right thing to be holding my darl's hand most of the time today and em.. *cough*( only me and her noe =P) I forgot that physical contact can still transmit germs and bacteria.. >.< sorry darling.. so sorry.. forgive me k?
And em.. I know it sounds late but..
Darling pls take more vitamins and drink more water k. pls dun fall sick too =( If you're sick I'll be even more sick and won't recover.. so u must stay healthy k? love you loads~ hugz`*

beautiful

2006-09-02T22:42:00.000-07:00

title: Beautiful

I dun feel the need to hide alot of stuff from readers or mushy things. Though i might still use it once in awhile ^^'' Well the main reason is this.. There's nothing wrong with loving a girl wholeheartedly.. If love can be measured in the amount of sacrifices then please take a different viewpoint and you'll realise.. all these sacrifices you have made is only because your girl actually loves you more.. Everyone has their own way of expressing their affection and love for their girl mine's here... So there's nothing wrong of expressing my love to my girl when i write mushy stuff or sweet stuff..

Thanks wen khai.. I read the email.. the images... it's really touching.. I'll cherish my girl even more <3

Went to see a doc today, flu bug caught me again arghs... Sorry darling, made u worry =(Doc gave me strong antibiotics cause my throat is really pain and i'm getting all dizzy hur hur.Well i still went to parkway to get some food to eat, though i was like.. (oh pls spare me)After which i headed to popular. Hm.. I went in to CD rama.. shopped around and unknowningly..I had two cds in my hand.. They are richard clayderman's My way 2006 and nathan's Let me Sing.Hm some how i just dun feel like getting rock or pop songs.. didn't quite know why then but after reaching home and listening to slow pace music for a change.. i guess i know why =)

A little feelings i would like to post up..

Yesterday.

I use to listen to techno to hype up the beat and so called vent my feelings(usually moody)

I use to drink graveyard and many other heavy liqours uncontrolably to drown my sorrows

I use to go race at arcade to vent my anger

I use to fight to find a place i belongI use to study to earn a good image in my grandparents eyes

I use to work in the office to prove that a kid can do what adults can

All this only to satisfy one thing.
I wanted to do exceptional well in everything but yet doing it blindly for no reasons.

Today.

I listen to any music but somehow i just like jazz more these days because it feels so sweet so loving. It reminds me of my girl and the times we had together and so i'm never moody again <3

I still drink liqour and ice wine but only rarely. Because I drink liqour in a quiet ambience that is relaxing just like how it feels like to be sitting beside my girl when i send her home on the triain. I drink ice wine because it's sweet and soothing just like my heart beat when i'm holding my girl's hand <3

I only race at arcade once in a while to have some fun as i dun need to vent my anger anymore because i'm always happy when i'm with my girl <3

I only fight if i need to protect my girl but besides that, i'm now performance based martial arts wanting to win for my girl to be proud of. I dun feel the anger and the need to fight anymore. Life is just too beautiful with her, each bite i take and every sip i drink has her image inside it. It's just too perfect. <3

I still study today of course, hoping to study even harder not just because i want to prove to her parents i'm serious in her and not a punkie kid but more importantly, I want a good career that can let my girl live comfortably and happily <3

I will learn to work again but not at the office because i want to learn to control my expenses better because i want to make sure our future will be financially stable. I also want to learn to be independant so i won't be a morning glory but rather a strong support that my girl can always lean on <3

In short, I'm happy with life now. It's beautiful. God does make things beautiful in his time =)

Though i know time will fly and changes might occur, i'll cherish the time now even more. I'll work towards a happy and beautiful tomorrow for the both of us(me and my girl). Darling, you are my miracle, my angel that god has sent. I love you and will cherish you always <3

Life is great, you brighten my life. Words are not enough for me to let you know how much i love you. But let me use my entire lifetime to show you...... I love you... hugz*

Vodka

2006-08-31T19:21:00.000-07:00

Hm.. actually I have mixed feelings about blogging today and what to write on... It will be a long post..

Yesterday and today was a little disappointing but yet sweet. (meant for me and her to know only =P) Sent my darl to town and I stayed in taka to study a little. Sadly, I lacked sleep; the weather and poor lighting of the library made me felt super sleepy so I went for lunch and shopping awhile.. Waited for a few hours as I was not sure if my company was wanted for. When my darl went home, I know I don't have to wait so I went to my favourite place in orchard.

So the usual div takes a stroll into the bar and gets a shot of absolute vodka(thankful it's not graveyard). Only difference is.. I went there in school uniform yesterday.. which meant of course the person will check my IC. Not that they don't check at other times but rather it's even more significant they check my age before serving me alcohol especially when I go for strong ones. Of course there were many eyes that was looking at me.. People in the pub and people from outside the roads of busy street Orchard. And on my way home I had another 2 shots of vodka absolute. Of course, Div can't get drunk. The only problem is.. Div has a damaged liver.. So even though I thought it was insignificant but ended up at night, my hand had a little skin allergy. >.< though ="D">

Was suppose to go out with darl today but unfortunately she can't go out =( Will be meeting up my friend later tonight to get the poster and crossword puzzle done. Time to finish up the tutorials for next week =)
Darling, it's ok, not blaming you or anything k? I understand and I'm glad that we already have a lot more time together as compared to others. I also appreciate that you try to find time for me such as yesterday's drink together before you meet you friends <3>

That was what happened yesterday and upcoming. As for my main post..

Hm. God has been nice to me I must say.. Though there has been many downs but he has made these downs much smoother to handle and accompanied through with caring people. Quite a number of things happened in and out of school. But I have and will still only reveal the stuff that people know and commonly hear of. Mainly for privacy and secondly because I know the readers of my blog might change their perception of me and my thoughts.

This place is what I describe as quiet public place. A place that though I know there are many readers but few comment or discuss about the issues here these days. To these people, I'm really grateful that you've been my joy and sorrow companions. It was tough journey through the years but I'm still standing mainly because of all these supportive friends =) Another reason why I call this a quiet public place is as I dun like to share my problems to people who are supposedly ideal to be able to help such as ms lai or my civics tutor or even my prof. Some how I keep thinking all problems I can solve but there are times I'm weak and fragile--crumpling down to emotional swings. So for all school related stuff and certain personal problems.. I tend to post them here. Not to be empathized or to be discussed about but more of a release of my tension in my soul.

Many a times, I actually have the answers to the problems but it's just the mental stress that I can keep up with instead of being paranoid and lost of directions. Somehow I dunno if I should be blogging about my life especially about me and my darl. There has been negative comments of people that I know in real life and these I must admit has put me away for quite a bit. Some say I blog to gain pity, some say I blog to gain popularity and some say harsh comments of my thoughts and feelings.

But people.. can I please clarify that what I comment here are usually my feelings and thoughts but not my actions? Of course there are things that are really actions which I think many especially my darl should know. (My work, my passion for music and martial arts, my priorities in life. Most importantly, it's my love for darl)

Thoughts of what I think of others and complains of problems does not equate to me going to react by doing bad or wrong things. Despite the negativity I still turn to this old place; where I can find people to just share that little emotional upset or share my joy.

Though I discuss about me and her about some disappointment I felt but rather, I'm happy for what is already blessed by god. Thankful for people still believing in me. Thankful for the motivation and support. Thankful for a understanding and sweet girl. Thankful that despite many times we can go out together but we can see each other almost 5 days a week which may seem short but yet is so sweet and warm. Thankful for the simple but yet sweet words from my darl whenever i'm feeling blue. Thankful for the joy and happiness she brought into my life and thankful that I'm still alive to love her more.

Lastly let me end of with a little prayer for all. Wishing all a successful A level and promotion in meridian. For WQ and Chuan, wishing u guys to get the grade you want and for the rest, a successful life in career. God bless everyone and if teachers see this, Happy teacher's day =)
Darling if u see this, here's wat i want to say to you. The most important prayer is for us. For us to have the strength and faith to carry on. The courage to overcome hurdles and love each other even more each day. We'll overcome promos, earn the trust of your parents and we'll go up to university, worklife and marriage as a loving and happy couple <3*~>

injured Fist

2006-08-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

Alright today's post is either u in the mood to read or if u feel u might not be comfortable after reading please avoid the post then...

It's all complains.. honestly.. i duno where or who to complain to so yup.. here goes..
A series of failures has been poping by div... This includes every single subject.. though econs i did average but.. the rest.. was a utter mess.. Physics today.. just nice give out the "awards" I can only say.. it was tormenting to the soul.. A lot of mixed feelings.. a lot of disappointments.. but yet i didn't want others to know because i noe my girl has a test later and it will affect her.. so i ended keeping all those struggles in me.. and yups.. u can imagine the rest..

Spoken to boss about the problem and he told me it's because i keep inducing this pressure on myself.. Because i think too much.. i'm like pressuming wat others are thinking and feeling but yet i'm not certain if that is wat others think and feel.. and that i have to agree with boss.. To be more precise.. can't call him boss anymore.. must call him prof.. So yups.. I guess i better start to learn to think only enough about wat others think and not to the extent i'm analysising and guessing.. Anyway alittle comments to cher.. Heya.. do appreciate that u're always my listening ear but honestly think u have to re explain urself in a different manner and not urs hur hur.. i really can't understand ur view point.. >.<

To thank those today for being so understanding and forgiving to mood swinged Div.. I'll first like to thank Ethelyn, Chia Jun(notice i typed out the name and not initials =P), Mr Lin, Ms Yeo, The taxi driver whom i duno and most importantly prof. Thanks for all the support and assure you tat Div is back up on the ring but with a different attitude this time. Just in case i forgot..

Prof also told me to learn to be humble.. even if sometimes others say wrongly of ur status and ability, as long as it's not a negative comment there's not much a need to try to defend urself or others might think it's being proud and stuff yups.. To be honest.. i was to anxious to prove myself.. till the extent i lost myself... i'm glad i found it back.. The smilely and sugar div is back =)

Lastly not meant for others to see.. I would like to dedicate this most important section to my darling. Thanks darling for being so sweet and understanding =) so sorry i made you worry cause was really afraid i'll do badly for geog too and so kinda gave up on it early =( but my spirit is back up fighting =D Thanks for sharing your care N concern. I must thank god for being there today and leting you voice brighten the gloomy day. Thanks so much =) Wanted to tell u last night but the sms didn't get through.. though you might get bored of hearing this but.. I love you darling <3

Fist of iron?

2006-08-25T05:19:00.001-07:00

Today many questions pass by me again.. my mates texting me about going back.. The reputable Fist of iron.. Given up so much.. his game.. his fighting... his assets.. to just be an ordinary kid.. But then i look back again and I seem to ponder.. am I an ordinary kid today?

Life made easier? Haha somehow i made life easier and complicated again haha. There's so much i want to do, so high scores to achieve. Something i didn't tell mr lin is.. Div wants 83.75 out of 90 and 91.25 our of 100 for his A levels. I want to get a scholarship too. I want my girl to be proud of me and let others know her boyfriend is a scholar. When we grow up I want to get a job that I can give my girl a comfortable life and my parents an enjoyable retirement. When people ask her, what's your husband's occupation, I want her to reply with a happy and confident smile "It's a lecturer/psychiatrist/Assitant Vice-President of a company.

Div has been doing badly for this stream of test. Actually to me, it's good because it makes my desire to do well even stronger. I'm hungry for positions. Moreover since i'm only activated till 60% capacity, I dun believe if I reach at least 90% capacity I cannot get As and Bs.

Think i'll be really broke after teacher's day.. really.. my this month allowance dried le.. still left 5 more presents to buy.. oh gosh.. I did a slight counting.. And realise i still have 1k+ trapped in games and I can only recover around 300.. As for money others owe me.. It has fallen to 1K.. so in total.. I'm suppose to be 1.3k richer but haiz.. all trapped all over the place.

I'm actually running out of ideas to do for her and talk to her. Yet she's still pretty quiet. Really don't know what to do at times.

I really hope she'll open up and talk more to me. Am I that hard 2 comunicate with? I'm already trying hard to understand her.. but.. It's been rather one way.
Sometimes i wonder is it my fault, not noeing how 2 love her better? I dun know how she feels or wat i did wrong. I only noe how 2 b de quiet angel 2 sit beside her N cast my wings 2 give her warmth.

Maybe she doesn't feel so but I realise I dun understand her well enough though i'm trying 2. However i'm like not given the chance 2 understand her better. Honestly, I haven't been able 2 really go out with her, study together, do things we like N try 2 understand her.

I can't help but wonder is it my punishment from god 4 being such a hua hua gong zhi in de past that now; when i'm so serious in her, deeply in love with her, tat every path is so difficult 2 take. God I want 2 how 2 love her better. Though I noe tat a christian can only b with another christian as misunderstandings n conflicts might arise due 2 difference in beliefs n culture but still is dere no other way? I love her but yet I can't seem 2 accept you. There are just too many scars in my heart and soul tat I can't step out of my past of buddism and accept christianity again. It's really so much struggling.. Struggling 2 b accepted by her mum n accept u. Struggling 2 noe how 2 love her better n yet not let her noe my despair n sorrow.. It's really tiring.. I duno wat 2 do.. God can u help me find the way? or will another monk enlighten me again like a few years back.. but watever happens.. My love 4 her won't change. Darling, if u ever get 2 read dis, just want 2 let u noe i'll never leave u for i love you so much i'll never let u go. You're my forever love <3

shortly sick

2006-08-23T06:50:00.000-07:00

well decided to make this a quick post due to many unfortunate reasons.. haiz..

Today's topic: A "sick" week(not exactly)

Well guys(excludes girls =P) I know wat u are thinking.. unforunately what i mean is sick as in physically... Yups.. oh guys come on dun be so disappointed =( haha okok lol enough of teasers...

Well it's been a series of headaches, fatigues and chest pains... Well got pretty bad till my math and GP were all affected last week... So yups Div is gona get his ever worst grade for math... never got lower than B.. now i broke that record... haiz... Glad my darling understands.. shall not disappoint her for future test and exams =) Unfortunately darling's mum too was unwell =( many prayers and i believe god has healed her. =)

Been playing alot of racing games last friday and saturday.. kept racing and racing to vend my moody feeling.. Got kinda psycho for one period i just enjoyed crashing other people's cars ^^''
As some would have guess yes it's once again because of the math test.. But to some it's a test but to me.. it's more than a test.. it's my first paper I take after being together with her... so i'm really sad i disappointed her... but it's alright will perservere on =)

But i guess when i look back.. it's good in a way.. God has been nice to me =) he has given me this hope i've been wanting to find-- the reason for me to keep fighting on and not give up.. moreover he even reminds me to stay focus by making have small stumbles-- so i'll get back on track and excell for the future... And it all comes to one point, i thank god for leting me find such a wonderful girl <3
darling if anything can express my love for you.. nothing can, because my love for you is uncomparable. I love you, god bless you always <3

Creepy

2006-08-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

Today's post.. is of three topics.. let's start of with a little creepy one..

Yesterday night.. I got visited by unwanted guest again..
Well.. they made it more clear in my sleep.. Recovering all my past fights in quick flashes... It felt like i was a demon.. A devil.. that was about to unleash it's evil power.. And then.. I decided to force myself awake and up.. But for that moment.. I couldn't get up.. I was stuck to my bed.. I couldn't get up.. All I know was.. my eyes were open and I could see nothing.. Stuck to the bed.. And not able to move.. And then i pumped up my anger and just forced myself up..
I'm now a free thinker.. but the main problem is.. it haunted me again.. Saw it a couple of times yesterday along the streets when i was on my way home.. but i didn't expect.. it will follow me all the way..

I know it sounds unbelievable or bizzare but.. Well.. it happened.. Every year during the lunar 7th month.. i'll just get visitors.. Each time with new tricks... Remembering a couple of years back seeing one that purposely try to commit suicide in front of me.. I ran over and then my parents asked me wat happen.. I realise that if they dun even see wat's happening... It only means i saw a visitor again.. So for every year.. I'm haunted by such stuff.. but i guess as time goes by.. i'm getting used to it.. It's not bad that you can see them.. but it's bad when u know that they know.. u are seeing them.. I hope tonight i'll get a peaceful sleep now.. The dead.. please rest in peace...

Next up.. a small issue.. not really small.. well u see.. there are quite a number of meridians stuck at cambridge now.. well.. things should turn out well as i pressume they'll only return when it's safe.. God bless them all for a safe trip home =)

Now, enough of the creepy bizzare things of yesterday night and the news.. Time to fill in on the em.. interested topic by everyone.. "how's my darling princess and I"

Well.. didn't quite want to post on us but i guess.. I rather just let u all read and end here then to go around asking and discussing... so be quiet in school.. or i'll bite... woof* woof*
Well.. my darling princess is sick
=( hope god heals her soon..
God bless you always darling..
Prepared alittle stuff.. not saying wat..

As for meeting.. nope.. I didn't get to see her for the past few days..
=( miss her so so so so so much.. Love ya darling... hope to see you soon.. won't be updating the chinese blog for these two weeks as I'll be busy with sch work and CCA, hope you dun mind darling..

Alright.. will be seeing u guys soon on monday.. Take care everyone and if u are free.. please keep my darling princess in ur prayers so she'll recover faster =) Many thanx, appreciate it alot

National Day

2006-08-08T15:54:00.000-07:00

Today is the morning of national day. Though i haven't been a good citizen considering the number of times i have broken a law before actually contradicts my ex cca, NPCC. Still, Singapore has been a good place afterall simply because i found my princess =) So yups time to wish Singapore a happy 41st birthday. Happy birthday Singapore, must be more ting hua d, cannot be so kiddish anymore. Already 41 yrs old, enough to be my daddy le haha =P

As some who has managed to enter the "hidden" blog of mine, you would have notice the link has been removed. This is mainly due to personal reasons that the blog is meant for my princess and solely her. The fact that others manage to enter would mean that it is no longer a personal space. For those who still intend to visit that special blog, i can control you but whatever you read, just remember to forget and DO NOT discuss it.

To my dear princess, i didn't update the chinese blog yet as I would like to study first and if have the time, i'll update it. I'm very excited about later(keke finally something the others dun noe =P) i'm sure it'll be beautiful. Thanks for finding time for me =) Appreciate it a lot. I love you always <3

my beloved

2006-08-08T00:51:00.000-07:00

Well today is national day celebration for my school and I believe for many others too.Well, today is also the first day I held her hand in school. Well, masked up by the performance ^^'' haiks haiks but honestly, it's because I felt that was a nice finale and I want to hold her hand to tell her I'll make every moment in her life like it is now, always so beautiful and sweet. Unfortunately, I'm still the lousy at expressing myself ahaha. But I'm glad I let her know how I feel, hope that she understands all I have doing is for her, because of her and I love her. And I hope that she too, will make me her first choice when she needs a listening ear, security and faith. Because a good communication makes a good couple =) Dear I'll bring sunshine to you everyday & every moment in your eyes

There are those now wondering, are you serious Div, Fist of Iron? Is this what you really want? To settle down? My answer is yes, she is the right one. Things were quite in a hurry but it does not mean mistakenly. I'm aware of my feelings for her and certain it is her that i love & care for my life.. So guess yes, just give me your blessings and it's enough.

So for those who just want to use us as talking subjects, please spare a thought for us and just don't do it anymore or at least in front of us. Please put urself in my dear's shoes. How would you feel? For those who has been supporting us, be it being there for us for spiritually, I thank you. We appreciate all the help and support =)

*removed section for personal reasons*

Lastly let me post a small question about what I noticed today in school.I seem to notice a trend that all girls school seem to not like to take photos with guys. That's a trend I notice, feel free to rebut at. But I have been wondering what is the reason behind it. Is it because of an environment that was dominated by the women and thus become distant, protective from men? Honestly I have no idea. Let me thus pose you this question to ponder over and perhaps drop your kind comments in tagboard. Thanks for popping by again my readers and god bless you all =)

I Love You

2006-08-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

For those who are busy poking their nose curious to find out how it went.. Let me just say.. I've more responsibilities now =) does tat answer the qn? I'll like to thank everyone who has helped in one way or another.. Thanx Jolene, Yu Ming, Pearline, Xiu Qi, Yi Ling and KI. I appreciate it alot =) Thanks for making it possible.

For those still asking why I choose her.. let me just say.. I'm a simple man now.. With a simple idealogy to find a simple half that we can go together to university, work, live together, get married and have our own family =) To me she is really so sweet, so beautiful and that is enough =D

Now we are facing some difficulties from the parents side.. Everyone please give me ur blessings and keep us in ur prayers.. Thank you all so much.. Really need lots of strength and faith to get through this period.. Considering wat I had planned for her.. Now everything has to wait.. I hope to hold her hand and give her faith and warmth but yet I fear tat we are rushing things and not listening to her mother.. I love you always..

To my princess, it's just below.. u need to press the hotkey i send u to see it..
*section removed for personal reasons*

i've found it.

2006-07-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

I decided to dedicate this post to 5 people.. here we go..

First goes to vin and gel, congrats =) actually i can tell like super long ago just tat wasn't sure if u like her haha... Though i'm not support of quite an age gap but u get my blessings (=.

Yup tat was 2 down and 3 more to go..

Here's the next.. to my dear physics teachers.. I cried again.. yes haha.. Well i do miss the days how ms wong gives me that guai guai innocent look that i have too haha.. But well she's super teng wo.. if she's older i would have gotten a second god mother.. but i guess in her eyes.. i'm just a kid and that.. allows me to fit the bill =) ms wong i wish u all the best, happy marriage and god bless u always.. if u ever see this.. must invite the gona be H3 distinction, 3 As for H2 and Bs for gp and H1 student of yours that promise you to be different..

Hey i said physic teacherS not teacher k =P be a bit more patient..

Mr Euguene Lin is my new physics teacher.. He's really nice.. really dedicated.. just like ms wong.. They love this profession and the satisfaction they get =) Thanx for believing in me.. I won't let you down.. What's 06S201? It's just a class I'll win haha.. Not just in physics but all subjects =)..

Ok last person.. but well.. let me say some stuff first ya?

An admit to my past... We'll.. here goes.. didn't have a serious realtionship before cause all i knew was just em.. be a hua hua gong zhi.. so yes.. i've had failed 7.. a huge number isn't it? and yet.. none.. 0.. was one that i really loved or cared for... All we knew how to do was eat, shop, spend money act like the most fortunate couples but in the end.. we know wat we were after.. reputation.. reputation of a xiao shao ye.. reputation of a qian jing siao jie.. and after my grandparents died and losing so much funds.. I've downgraded.. thankfully to god.. there's still enough for education and stuff till i'm probably like 27 or so.. then i'll really have to independant.. But yes.. tat was an ugly past of div that many don't know.. ms wong asked me before.. "strange.. people want to forget the past.. why do u want to remember?" my answer was.. I want to remind myself of all the wrong and bad things that happen.. to not make that mistake..

Ok ok.. u're curious to read about div's life so much eh haha.. jkjk.. but well.. here's the last person i'm dedicating this post to...

someone who i've spend years trying to find.. tat accepts me for who i am.. someone who dun mind my past.. my activities... my passion for martial arts.. my desire for competitiveness and career aspirations.. I have not officially declare to her(yes it's a her.. i know wat u are thinking >.<~) but will try to get my courage out and do so on friday.. and guys dun say how can someone who has 7 experiences can't even say the 3 words.. ans is.. I wasn't certain then.. and when it feels so simple.. so simple sweet.. like a small faint scent of sunflowers all around you.. it's seriously not easy.. not easy to get that courage of yours to say the three words.. and who is it.. my classmates already know it.. as for the rest of my dear readers here.. =P u just have to be patient till we are officailly together and our photos are posted up haha... thanx for reading div's blog again and god bless all of u always.. J2s and J1s study hard we can all climb pass the mountain as long as we have the will to do so.. =) as for the rest of my friends.. thanks for reading too.. my fav quote is "dare to dream and dare to achieve" same goes to all of u guys.. achieve wat u guys want =) god bless.. bb now

RO goodbye

2006-07-21T05:21:00.000-07:00

This post is full of heavy thoughts.. Thoughts that div didn't expect to pen down in such a public place but I guess he decided to still do so...

Today.. is the official day ms wong leaves our class... It was so silently shouting to me.. As soon as i assembled in the morning not seeing ms wong anywhere.. I knew.. it meant that yesterday was the last day she's my physics tutor.. Actually I thought of blogging only after tuesday's physics exams but Div is really mentally tormented... I suddenly have an over flooding of emotions... emotions of what happen recently.. How there popped out a relieve GP tutor.. how he was bullied by the class.. and how he told me.. not to stop fighting ever.. And then came a new physics teacher.. my new civics tutor... how many know how i felt...

Ms Edna Wong was my 1st 3 mths physics teacher.. she's also philemon's physics teacher.. and you know what.. we have the same thing to say.. She's one dedicated and caring teacher.. I hope I won't disappoint her for this physics test.. It's the test that i wish to tell her.. "I'm gona keep on fighting.. I'll get the A.. I promise.."

Then came another relieve teacher.. she's doing PE.. Well.. I seem to go along quite well with her.. and she's the kind of woman I like but unfortunately.. she's not my batch.. You yuan wu fen ba.. It's always like that hasn't it.. the womans I liked.. it always had to be older but yet.. it's so disappointing because I can never find someone as mature in my age and yet is as decent and also reasonable in looking(i mean reasonable because it's hard to go shopping if ur gf is really that bad looking, I'm not expecting cinderella ya...)
For that reason.. I think i'll never marry...

God I know I have been asking for strength too many a times.. I know you have been trying to help me despite my bad past and destiny but I do need help again.. you know wat i mean.. I'm confused.. troubled.. CCA has been overloading me.. I've more men to help now but the qn is.. how can they help? Zahra X is a project i've been on and about to finish.. wat can they do? Do they know experts in posters? They don't.. I still have to pay my friend privately and not claim it to get the drafts into reality with his IT skills.. I still have to finish up the at hand task.. All I can say is.. I'm pretty certain.. my workload is not lighter than a CEO or vice... in fact.. there are times it's worst... Yet.. I want to keep my promises... My AAB... for promos.. so near.. so near... I must be on fire soon.. but god.. i'm burning out.. does mrs ng noe and understand that? I always dedicate alot of effort and time to biz club and my duties. Producing results, joining competitions but all i ask is proper studying time during the exams.. is that too much to ask? Especially now that they mean so much to me.. God-mother(ms lai) is expecting me to do well too... Ms wong.. my respective subject tutors... I really don't want to let them down.. I've let so many teachers down in TK...a 139IQ student.. if I agreed to join mensa I'll be just competiting with the top 10s.. but still.. with so much intellect.. my soul... fails me... my faith.. turns away my needy call.. I must succeed.. I vow.. I promise.. I shall and will.. Even if all fails me and the slightest hope is gone.. I shall still be the last man standing and fight on this war that i shall conquer... Even if god turns against me and foul demons were to enter my soul once more.. I shall still be Div.. Light.. that shall not give up.. The fist of iron that will succeed...

pictures, posters, me

2006-07-15T03:40:00.000-07:00

Hi guys these two posters above are the posters for the floats... they will be printed into 1 poster of A3 size and placed all around MJ.. looks great ehz? hur hur the duration used also bery great haha... alright hope the audience likes it... Next up.. something creative but simple.. *drums rolling*

Ta da.. It's a poster for the band that's coming as a guest to MJ next saturday.. Cool eh? I like the E, it's the piano's keys haha.. And it says.... WELCOME ! haha..

Alright last but not the least.. the most important tat i promised to upload... no.. it's not the pic of my sister =P better luck next time haha.. but well.. it's the gift from my sister =) cute isn't it?(just like me???) ok thanx for popping by and see this picutre post lol.. pictures and more pictures haha...

posters

2006-07-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

Hey guys welcome back.. hope everyone has been doing well.. my fellow mjsians, how did it go? for those who did well congrats and keep up the good work. For those who fail to get wat they targeted. Dun frown yet all is not lost. Work hard, have faith and i believe u will succeed =D

Here's a few posters that are being considered for perkafe to introduce the new products namely the float and toppings haha.

the above is copy the halls advertisement on sweet where the polar bear shaves of his fur to stay cool while the other poster shows how easily u can stay cool by just drinking a float from perkafe.

Ok the other two above is for toppings. The one on the left is to tell the audience to buy toppings and "dress" up the ice cream with the available options of 3 choices. The one on the right is toppings dropping down with nutty almond, sticky carmal and Crunchy Chocolate. Lastly to view the picture full size pls kindly click on the picture itself. Will be putting wat my mei mei give me for birthday present lol.. If u guys notice my msn.. it's already there =P

BB?

2006-07-06T04:45:00.000-07:00

First things first I must thank mei mei for her present.. Actually I acted normal in front of her but actually I feel like crying... haha.. As usual the emotional me but hey tat's my way of expressing myself ok so ya no laughing.. haha.. Well.. She's already having a tight pocket and she still bought a present.. Though I did tell her that my biggest gift for 2006 is to known everyone I know this year especially her =) Mei mei thanx again... honestly... But don't spend so much again alright? Really don't need to return the gift de.. Still.. Thank you... I'll cherish it =) It's the first official present that is not a meal or money.. it includes thought..

Chris and Don thanks for the meal and thanks for remembering =) Thank you. This year is indeed my sweetest Birthday Ever.. For 18yrs.. this is the first one with real wishes... gifts tat hold meaning and promises to keep =)

I got back my results for physics and math.. Well physics officially.. Math.. my teacher tell me but i haven't gotten the chance to see the paper.. it's bb.. BB actually.. I must thank world cup cause many watched world cup and not study ending up.. i manage to climb up the ranks easily.. As for math.. I'm truely disappointed.. I got a B.. After working hard for it..(it's not really that hard but hey I'm consistent for math ok =P) I got a B.. that also means.. the end of my H3 journey.. There are people who think I'm like showing off or things like that when i'm not satisfied about my results.. but how many know my desire to be independent to finally be removed of the burden that I feel is too heavy to carry.. my family.. and the only way i know to do so is by getting a scholarship.. Now I pressume some will say.. hey u can still APPLY a scholarship without a H3.. but well wan quan has told me of the harsh reality.. He scored AAAB but no S paper.. and he ends up slogging like mad to get a 2nd in ranking in ntu of his course.. and get a YEARLY scholarship meaning if next year he performs unwell.. his scholarship ends there.. And so.. It also means.. I most likely can't get my scholarship.. I dun quite care how others will think but at least mei, bros and pals.. pls do understand me for now.. I'm glad I did well but at the same time.. I'm depressed because my hope is shattered.. God bless everyone always and please study hard after getting the results.. it's not over yet... we have promos...

Happy Birthday again

2006-06-28T08:48:00.000-07:00

Yupz it's on birthday again.. Surprisingly, today i went to sch and found out my birthday is on 27(well that's nothing much ^^'') but my friends i have 2 on the 28th which is today(wednesday) Happy Birthday Raye and Rozaini.

Hey mei mei hope u like the gift lol.. i a bit kia su.. 13th i buy le scared incase forget or too busy studying then no go out lol..thinking of giving u a collection in the long run lol

hur hur.. mid year exams are finally over.. Expected grade ACD... B is missing Zzz... where is my other A.. where is my other B... i dun want C or D!!!! Promo targets : AAB hur hur.. Gam bah teh!! (Slight reminder to all.. it's only 3 mths away ^^'')

Well I seem to notice many can't study at home.. is it because of the culture that we have that home = rest? home= many distractions, TV, computer, mp3 player, handphone etc. Well then the best place to study would be in the forest? ^^'' i'm just being lame here lol.. Well actually here's a suggestion that everyone knows but works.. If u have a computer in ur room and u seem to be hooked on to it.. put it in the living room...

Alright readers tat's all for today stay tune for more fun & action in Kids Central!!! opps.. =P

jealousy, hatred, stress

2006-06-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day of mixed feelings.. Morning till night was utterly a mess except lunch.. which at least was decent but a little frightening..

Suppose to have breakfast with my competition group but oh well.. 2 lazy to wake up early.. 1 overslept so i waited kinda long but oh well.. after that the one that overslept thought i was angry.. but heyz.. i'm not so petty ok..

After that had meeting for 6 hrs straight.. disaster.. 4hrs of sleep and then 6hrs straight of meetings. I'm so burntout.. Had lunch after that with raye.. so sweet of her to lend a listening ear =) many thanx.. but somehow.. the others.. dun seem to sense that i was not feeling well.. even the closest.. my com group mates thought i was angry with "her" for waking up late and me waiting for 30mins... Raye thanx again.. Dun worry about ur bf la.. everything comes slowly but in the end.. dun keep problems to urself... simple it may seem but voice it out so there will be as little as possible of misunderstandings(it's nearly unavoidable ^^'' even for me) between u n him.. God bless =)

Jo.. thanx too =) those were simple words but they were like a nice jacket in a freezing cold night.. it's really warm =) haha.. guess i really too feminine haha.. even eyes also so teary haha.. Shh.. dun spread that around =P okz div has to reallocate his time.. too much work to do..

wat a day

2006-05-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

Arlowz.. today is an interesting day?? nah.. not the least.. well.. i thought today can spend more time with her.. but oh well.. my guess was wrong.. she seems to have a different perspective from me and kinda ignore me.. but hey look at the bright side.. only when the process is difficult will one cherish the labours of it... I guess I hope this time things work out because i'm really serious and concern about this one..

Thanks passerby actually u can leave ur name lol.. but well.. i'm trying to be honest to my readers especially when they take the trouble to come to this site and read but due to tight relationships at the moment so i had to remove the post but generally i dun really bother about wat others say because i seem to find here is a freedom of speech, criticizing my words are ok as long as they are done in a nice manner ^^

Watched Xmen 3.. Pretty good =) considering watched it as a cohoot of JC1.. everyone laugh over the slightest joke and cheer over the minorest issue lol.. Quite funny haha.. After that went to bugis with my biz mates.. though it was almost canclled alittle sad though cause not productive.. haiz.. i wonder why like that.. is it really because of me.. Am I really that boring.. Zzz.. "life is so interesting" heard tomorrow is J2 GP.. to all the J2 readers good luck and have fun will blog more tomorrow or wednesday after finishing my assigment haha.. take care =)

Chris is back

2006-05-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

Due to certain reasons i have deleted the previous post.

Here's today. First off started off with meeting a long lost friend.. A friend from my same seconadry school CCA.. The first guy i know in TK and also the only 2 i keep in contact with after so long.. It's how interesting time can change a person.. he hasn't change that much but his physique did grow alot more stronger... gulps.. really strong strength.. i too worry about his fist.. >.<~ Today met an ex TK as well.. haha he dun recognise me already lol.. Well like i said everyone changes with time whether we like it or not.. I changed too.. from a simple minded person with the body of the gods.. I became someone.. with a complex mind, on the guard etc.. and falling ill easily though i still kept the shape of the muscles

And Today i went to orchard.. Takashimaya. Guess wat.. there was a yoyo exhibition.. the fast yoyo thing.. and yohan and 2 other professional yoyo players were there to perform... Yohan is super fast.. 52 tricks in 60s!!! record holder!!! I took a video with my handphone.. and i realise his yoyo was too fast for my camera to take.. Zzz.. oh well that's for now.. rest early my dear readers.. god bless =)

Failures

2006-05-11T08:06:00.000-07:00

Well marking from last month till today.. I have failed 3 test, 2 competitions.. This is one of my worst records.. Zzz.. I'm suppose to win.. teachers now look at me with the eyes that i know.. Uh oh...

grrr.. I tink I loose to many things in life le.. I better dun loose my wives too.. Zz.. they too important keke.. no music i really good game.. I got marketing director for my biz club.. Zzz I dun want tat post.. I'm a IT noob.. wth.. so many software i duno how to use.. every video or poster i call my friend do.. then each one do 30~80 SGD then i go broke real soon la.. Zz.z. wth.. then the idiot got CEO.. Not that I'm bias against him but if it's shawn it's so much better.. simply because Wei Qiang only knows how to bull shit.. He throws all the work to the others and then say is he do one.. Zzz. Seameo, valentine's day project also like that.. boon kiat also say same thing.. Zzz... I really sympathise jason and shawn.. I have a bad feeling about Biz club this year.. Zzz.. Teachers u choose him.. then i hope u all live with it..

Zul I know u are reading so everything here is between u and me ok.. Dun spread out.. Dun want others to misunderstand.. Take care and good luck for mid year exams. study hard =)

I'm not gona loose anymore.. no way..

Oh ya.. thanx manel for the testi =)

If i was invisible

2006-04-28T08:27:00.000-07:00

I feel I'm still gona be a KOS. Two weeks past and the feeling gets more obvious. I seriously dun want to get in a BGr.. After all.. how happy can a girl feel if his guy is always filled with work...it's very unfair to her haha.. Besides i know i'm not stable.. The semi Finals are finally over.. next week is elections lol.. nope not the general elections but the Biz club Executive Commity elections.. Mrs Ng seems to want me to run for it.. Zz... Means i will be super tired..

Ok i think i owe ms Edna Wong a big appology for failing... Think I will find chance to appologise to her.. honestly i duno how i fail.. as in.. i know i won't score well but i didn't expect a fail... I seriously let her down.. she was staring at me.. I didn't know why.. until... sorry ms wong.. sorry.. I promise u.. top in class for mid year and in first paper..

Today no topic to discuss due to tiredness.. tomorrow thou shall write about judeges and their "superior minds"

I'm broke

2006-04-14T00:47:00.000-07:00

I think i made it more and more clear each day to my parents that they are no more my parents. I noe it sounds it's me but I really having a hard time trying to live with such pressure. The stress level is killing me. It's at first after JC but if really cannot tahan i think end of this year i will leave the family le. I know jie will say it's me but jia jia you ben nan nian jing. I noe wat I am doing. I'm not baby..

Tonight going over to JB with chuan.. actually there are good and close friends around me if u look at it differently lol.. as in.. they all really care for me =) drink drank drunk? lol.. nah.. i can only do the first 2. the 3rd one impossible never can i be drunk.. because my mind is forever too sober..

jie.. when will i see u again

2006-04-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

to don: u are indeed a friend that probably in a century i'll only find one =) yupe sometimes every decision we make cost will tie along but in the end u found the end product worth while and that's wat matters =) ur faith will grow with each day as so the bond and love for god =)

to XZ jie: thanks for giving me the wake up call though u did it a harsh way again.

Kinda hurting.. considering how she was speaking to me today the tone everything.. haha.. make my eyes all so teary.. ming zhi i from drama de little bit only my eyes will watery still talk like tat.. Zzz.. i wish some things could change. just a little but i'll be happier. but i guess like wat she said we have to move on.. i'm no more a baby in their eyes.. i'm suppose to be grown up so yupe jie won't let u down =) Except i really need tissue badly.. i can't see the keyboard clearly.. keep typing wrong lol..

i guess the person who still understands me most is my dear.. my saxophone lol.. even my teacher can't sense i'm just trying not to disappoint them when i agree to join competitions and promise to win them.. it's a tiring lifestyle and i believe i will get out of it... My aim is not be some competition expert but to make a difference in the comunnity even through simple things such as just being a teacher or lecturer, doing community service. I'm willing to put down my chains and be the simple kid out there trying to help now i'm just waiting for the chance.

boring

2006-04-11T22:30:00.000-07:00

Due to audience "request" this will be the LAST time I will talk about past. Classmates, friends, CCA mates have been asking me about how come i learn before these topics, am I from GEP, how come I older and how come I PMC(permenant MC).
Well to answer how come I older and how come i learn before these topics, this is the second time I am retaking year 1. Am I from GEP? No, but I was suppose to join mensa (after an IQ test of performance 139, language 117, average 128) and transferred to ACS except my attached psychiatrist(monitors me results, stress, emotions etc) rejected these offer due to finding me still unstable emotionally. As for PMC, was an EX- martial artiste(is this the term?) so got fight legally and non legally(arcade jokers) So I landed on my back during competition so yupe. my price to pay for disallocating people's arm and wacking them till they bleed or I won't stop is my back injury(a fracutre in my lower back)
Ok I presume that's about the information that is wanted. Lastly, I hope my music can be improved at a faster rate though i dun practice >.<~ My studies. Hm.. trying to get the concepts cleared then I can score well I hope.. And the two jokers.. stop calling me a flirt.. or ci hong.. I will Ka cha ur head off >D

not again

2006-04-09T07:07:00.000-07:00

lolz.. i seem to notice my tutor adds every single girl in my msn from MJ >.<~ dots.. Hey limit ya.. dun spoil me reputation..

Well.. I just finished my outstanding deals except the last 1.. House of Auger.. After Calculation. I have concluded a sum of 1.4k spent on games >.<~

It's been 1 week since I blogged.. I guess so.. So i pressume this will be my frequency.. Yesterday was my cousin's birthday.. I'm so broke from games.. over budget again.. So I couldn't get her a present.. thankfully mummy got one and help represent me also.. my only contribution to the gift? selecting it lol.. yupe.. I love jewellry? lolz.. appreciating mostly.. of course I love diamons, sapphire, ruby and gold as well keke.. but i dun wear those that look femine la.. like duh.. It's artistic.. skilful and near flawless.. That's y i like it so much..

Hm.. my 3 weeks expiry date thing has kinda caused me trouble.. Zzz well no more elaoration on that >.<~

Haha.. I just notice my voice is still bad condition.. I can't sing at the moment wonder how will it be like on friday.. Better dun malu arh.. heard the Kbox they going is where my target practise 2 is working at.. Zz..

Haha. training back my body and martial arts soon.. Going to take up shaolin quan wakaka.. then I must train my legs and become ultimate warrior.. wakaka. after that.. study like mad.. music like mad and become my music, fighting, studying machine le =)

I want 1st and nothing else.. When I leave this family, I want my name to be reputable.

Lastly to my dear sis christine.. please take care dun do anything foolish or hurt yourself.. It's not worth it.. Please trust me that better guys will come your way.. If u need a listening ear just ring my phone.. I promise i will make time for u.. U are my dear mei dun let me worry or feel hurt ok? please take care..

Siao liao la..

2006-03-31T05:13:00.000-08:00

Alakma.. today is submission of the Citibank competition.. Zz.. my group is somehow super dependent on me.. that's really quite a bad thing zZz.. working like mad for the entire week so excuse me for not blogging..

Well I fell sick.. gotten flu lolz almost recovered but the stupid block nose and my voice is lost.. my throat hurts badly but trying to still talk properly and smile so hiaks.. gam bah teh.. i think i need a proper rest after the submission..

Sia la.. today done my first.. replacement PE.. last time no go PE teacher no complain one zZz.. this mr foo.. really becoming.. mr foo_ (fill in the blank urself) Nvm.. I try to get myself excused from PE haha..

Haiz how come today i whine so much? sorry guys.. Too much work and stupid things happening.. even airport also bullying me..

I still can't understand why I can't be excused from PE.. It's the last period so can home already ma.. Yes there may be theif case but there's a stupid security guard there and lockers. What's the security guard and lockers for if thief can still go on. Bleah.. get a CCTV camera idiots... I want to go home earlier.. So I have to stay in school for 100mins because I dun take Chinese and PE.. haha.. how considerate of the school.. How's that when they said that this year's syllabus and school time would be cut to 85% and they make me spend 100mins doing nothing but walk around and help take attendance.. I'm impressed.. I'm on PMC(permenant medical cert) and they insist I do PE ha.. wat logical thinking is that.. worst part is when the teacher said " who say u are on PMC.." I really wanted to reply him " The doctor duh u goon.. " after that he said " who say u dun need do PE" it really pissed me off.. i wanted to just tell him "oh no one did but what's PMC for, u want me to do can no problem. I faint u good luck ok?" yupe that shows how much teacher stick to rules and regulations that they think stupid and talk stupid because they apply the wrong concept at the wrong situtation and end up making a fool of themselves.. Haiz.. Teachers.. you all may be smart but still remember to stop and think before doing anything..

That comes to the end of my discussion and my whining.. so yupe thanx everyone for spending the past few minutes reading my boring post and maybe tag many thanx. Hope u all like my little 2 cents worth of opinion.

Ok guys so

My dear meis and bro

2006-03-25T08:23:00.000-08:00

Hey couz it was fun going out with all of u today even though u all very bad no want go harbour front with me sob sob.. End up play arcade lol.. Sianz today tio burnt in pocket.. for the past 3 weeks.. my expenses Zzz.. 2k? I think have lol.. cia lat.. my saving is not working sia lol..

U my like my mei mei and di like tat.. so of couse must take care of u all la.. if anything happen i will blame myself de lor.. so wat to do. lol.. haiks haiks...

XZ jie.. jia you!! ni xing de =)

SF jie sometimes melvin duno how to express his care, concern and love for u but if u close an eye and let me his way (AT TIMES only) then u might just realise how much he loves u and u won't be angry about wat he is doing but will be happy =)

Sianz.. My card limit.. really bao liao Zzz.. I better control my expenditure.. Zzz.. study!!!!

15-03-2006 special day to remmeber

2006-03-24T06:45:00.000-08:00

haiks guys i just got a refresh to my blog lol. will try to update my chinese one soon =) so be patient guys i'll put an announcement up here once it's updated. I'm a baby kid in the teacher's eyes ehz? lol.. Well at least i'm not their devil.. so i guess it's a conciliation prize after all..

I've been trying to sleep lately lol.. Today no go school because I thought today is dateline haha.. then i try to stay at home and do work then did i realise that actually it's extended.. Zz. missed 2 lectures.. haha.. that's bad lots of catch up to do.. ZZz... Gambatee Div..

Sianz.. jie jie seems to be facing quite alot of stress.. haiz.. I duno how to help them.... one the husband is cheating on her.. hopefully after talking to them they reconcile then the other is work there the boss dun understand her.. then her husband duno how to express his love and care for her the way she wants it to be.. So haiz i very jia lat.. duno how to help

As for me.. Haiz.. I also duno.. I'm still the workaholic, alcholic, passive smokaholic(I get puffed by people who smoke around me lol), fightholic, KOS(King of Soloist)

Venture Era

2006-03-13T07:26:00.000-08:00

Water water water... Sianz.. today miss 3 people.. Dam... I'm getting blurish and old lor Zz.. biz club today tio suan sia.. wth.. it's like I dun lame with them they all just keep quiet for the entire day.. I lame with them they suan me.. wth sia... Zzz..

Sianz.. my card is facing problemz zZz.. over expenditure lol.. I think I need to have a budget le.. sianz Tzi Qing I think is the name of the girl I met today lol.. I think... probably wrong i just remember the Tzi.. super hard to pronounce until she pronounce it herself lol.. Should have gotten her number Zzz.. Besides I sense something wrong with the company...

My dear "wife" return me my cards... U like that continue i will be super duper broke lol..

Jie.. Kor.. wat's with all of u... u all.. are still so close but me le.. u all forgot me le arh.. Jie i dun mind u call wrong my name to difu le.. I really dun mind... but pls dun all just leave me like that... it's an overnight thing u guys know.. u all can put so much memories behind but i can't.. u may say i'm reluctant to move on.. but how to move on.. if I have already taken u all as my real jie and kor.. It's really my heart bleeding tears.. I guess I'm writing here all these because they probably won't ever see it.. even for my friends who see it.. they dun know who is it.. so I can be a kid here... and not the baby dragon with so called super grown up mind.. It's not me.. It's just not me.. My failure to accept I guess will cost me dearly.. haha..

Block Test

2006-03-08T20:20:00.000-08:00

Arlowz to all J2 people.. Block test is coming up so gambate!!! must score well ya.. Think I'll probably be buying some bears and cards today then let the bear hold the card then write inside Jia You in chinese. Well i intend to give it to my fellow biz club mates who are going to have their Block Test soon but one problem exist.. How to pass to them lol.. Later I go college see can see them anot.. then maybe pass to them.. if no see them then too bad liao lol..

Today's topic.. Is wearing branded goods = rich? no not really guys.. Look at it this way.. some wear it for the comfort and some wear it to show off.. But question is so many people wear it in the first place.. So is it everyone is rich? not all are born a prince or princess but still.. Many can afford such products.. For example.. Mr Ling also owns a O2 Handphone.. There is a teacher who drives an alfa romeo.. Does that mean they are rich? nope ladies and gentlemen.. It just means they prefer to buy those items to consume than others...

Now you guys may say.. that's the adult's world.. U urself wear the addidas shoe and O2 phone.. I'm not gona disclose anything but let's make a short analysis. Firstly how much do everything i wear to sch from top to toe cost.. I used to wear necklace but not anymore so left my Shoe, Hp, Wallet, Watch. The sum is 450 + 1380+ 100 + 450 = 2380. Ladies and gentlemen I know this sum sounds large but one question.. Can the other teenagers afford it? YES they can.. There was the november holz and decemeber hols for current JC 2s.. They just work 40 days for 10 hours each and each hour pay is 6 dollars and they get.. 2400 dollars after the holz.. that even exceeds the money i spent to buy.. Now u may think but not all JC 2 work... Let's look at it differently then.. Assume we have 6 dollars of allowance each day in sch.. u spend 3 dollars and save 3 dollars.. So there are 30 days a month so u save 90 each month.. now for an entire year u can save 1080 dollars.. now assume u only work for 20 days which is half of the original.. u get another 1200 dollars.. now u will have 2280 dollars.. that is almost as much...

Ok I know wat u guys are thinking.. the JC1? That's even more easier.. They have half of November, December, January and Febuary so They work for around 60 days and 10 hours each with 6 dollars pay again they will have 3600 dollars.. ladies and gentlemen this amount would mean they can still afford a top to toe billabong, emporium armani products and catch a concert.. So now have my explanation cleared the thought of many out there? Yes it has.. That's all for today and stay tune to Div's Channel keke...

Orchard mania

2006-03-04T09:06:00.000-08:00

Arlowz people.. My bro said "xiong di mei you ge ye chou" lol.. how sweet of him but it's just a fox.. Cause my mum is there.. He always throws his temper around like some F* god.. It shows how people actually fake themselves out in front of other people so dun blame me for being a bad guy at home. It's the fam that made the decision not me. So i'll be leaving my home right after A levels, working.. yes people.. little master is going to work... I intend to teach tuition during the army period then after army, teach tuition and work full time until uni starts. Then Save up all the way until i can pay for uni myself. I know it sounds impossible but I won't take another cent from this f* up family once I reach army. When I finish u then work i return them the money i owe them. In other words.. I decided to severe ties.. It's the only way left I can think of to save myself from drowning.. I cannot afford to fail.. I have to see my name on the ranking list.. God please help me... I need the str... The courage and power... Now the only thing that powers me up is hate.. That's not me.. it's painful...

I look around myself and I wonder.. Have I grown up or am I still the kid.. I guess it's both.. Sadly we always grow up through the ugly side of life.. I guess besides the laugh play and childish me.. It's the lone demonic soul lol.. I realise I KOF.. Dun have any basics.. haha.. ah chuan see d faint lol. haha.. but ghost squard i lose 3 games won 3 games... haha.. =P level 36 liao wakaka.. wait i get TR14 then I super liao wakaka..

2006-03-02T17:22:00.000-08:00

Welcome back manel =) great to have u in MJ =D

Sianz, ++ equipment today break like sh!t.. lose 2 MC money. Zzz.. My father now complaining my expenditure.. ha.. for buying a watch, printer, eating 4 times sakae, new wallet, belt, 4 CDs n 5 MCs.. which amounts to 1.5k Zzz.. wth man.. bro use alot of money u all complain no sh!t.. me u all keep blaming.. ta ma de.. na bui... Just a bit more u all see.. I am no more part of this family.. U just wait and see.. I no longer wear the necklace they gave me.. That pendant.. Complain me spending alot and trying to kill the family right.. have u all thought of wat bro and u all did.. I only buy wat i need and leisure that is already cheaper than my arcade life.. Still u all blame me like sh!t right.. blooder everytime always use same F*king excuse say I no girlfriend and he got so many girlfriend means my character got problem I failure etc.. kan ni na.. Ur f*king girlfriends everytime u say u serious end up.. all play only and waste my money.. Then break.. all the lousy girls only.. then u say i failure.. wtf rights and stats do u have to say that.. U are just NOTHING! U dun have money to urself.. The car is not urs and u shoo me off.. u dun have even an O level cert, u dun have looks or talent wtf do u have besides a driving license? NOTHING idiot..

Now that i look at my life.. I guess I too have nothing.. I have only a top 1percntile brain, pettie cash and a small small handful of friends.. the rest.. just comes and goes.. I'm kinda used to it.. How close of friends do i have.. only Ah Chuan.. The rest.. I talk to them i feel so guilty sharing them my problems even though it's not theirs... I duno how many people know me.. I duno if the teachers knows that confident kid that keeps winning awards is a kid that actually is crying.. A kid with a bleeding heart and soul.. Blood tears.. Devil.. I guess that's me..

2-3-2006

2006-03-02T08:23:00.000-08:00

Hey manel.. in case ur're reading hope u dun feel offended.. I have my reasons for not telling u.. firstly I can't always depend on u by telling my problems all the time.. Second I dun wish our friendship to be dependant on a problem based issues... 3rd it's not fair for u to take my burden... 4th I do not wish to make it a concept in ur mind that I'm trying to earn ur sympathy... so I think i'll just write my demons down here.

Wat a day indeed. I still can't understand that physics question, nor am I having the confidence of getting straight As. Though I'm still trying. I got back my geog and guess wat.. i did fail.. haiz.. wth.. God u are such a **** U think it's funny.. I dun think so...

Today submitted the start-up@ singapore executive summary for our business idea.. I hope we'll make it through.. It's me n Ms M. Wong's hard work.. But today is also a day i remember wat I'm in JC for.. and wat my family and house is becoming... A place to sleep and nothing more indeed.. I question myself.. Have I not tried to put myself in their shoes? I realise.. The problem is my parents believe they understand me and try to act it out but actually they dun.. dispite me telling them so many times they just repeat the same thing... My brother is the one who thinks he is super smart... The one who just wants to win back a breath and face.. For that he is gona spend dad and mum's money a bomb. And he complains me spending alot.. I spend on wat i need and dad doesn't know it.. so i hack care him.. but the kid that has spent up to 400k is now complaining i spending alot.. ha.. how funny hor..

So yupe i quarreled with my bro and parents as I predicted and just a little while more.. I'll be an orphan.. My surname is not Teng.. From now on It is not Teng! I have no parents or siblings.. I come and go alone.. I dun care wat will my parents or others think.. my decision is final.. whether they like it anot.

28-02-06

2006-02-28T06:02:00.000-08:00

Today was haiz.. shake head...

1st up of the day was econs tut lol.. we watched princess diana's story in lecture and discuss it during tuts.. someone most not qualified tried talking about moral values etc.. is it all the DHS boys like that? Cannot be what.. my friend not like that.. Zzz.. He kinda reflected the old me.. one thing though.. i've past that stage.. I dun wish to comment further or people will start calling me the male xiaxue.. blah...

Physic tut gave out results today.. Gotten a C.. sharks man.. I could have gotten 9 marks more by doing nothing but my own corrections.. wth man.. I could have gotten an A instead.. How disappointing..

Today at perkafe was funny sia.. the reloaded the wrong mixture.. haha.. chemistry practical fail lol.. they poured in the powder for corn soup into the mashed potato section lol..!!! no wonder it didn't solidify.. it's soup lol.. Today i kinda messed up 3 times Zzz.. thankfully the teacher no scold me.. haiz.. Better hope no second time.. was keying values the teacher dun understand y lol.. Sleepy sleepy.. doing the econs thing then go sleep le heng arh..

26-02-2006

2006-02-26T02:20:00.000-08:00

Now guys.. let me state it again that on wednesdays I have music lesson at 8p.m. I know it sounds late but think about this. It take 1hrs 20mins to travel home via bus and 40mins to go to teacher's place via cab 1hr to eat bath wash face hair. means i need 3hrs of time to be precise. Imagine being released at 5p.m. i have exactly 3hrs to reach my music place. Make sense? So if I'm release late I have to rush cab back. So y am i suppose to pay extra for being released late.. When it's not my fault or choice? Now some of u will say why not just bring ur instrument to sch and go there directly. Firstly I got a dam big bag on my back. Second I've been out the whole day, perspire etc. I seriously need to wash up. 3rd also most important.. The value of my instrument is 18k now.. Who the hell in the right mind will bring 18k to school and people spoil it or steal it? make sense? Unless someone garantees me another same model, series and quality saxophone or else no way man.. it's already Kenny G's quality of selmer saxophone.. So don't bother convincing me... U won't risk 18k so neither will I =P

25-02-2006

2006-02-24T15:52:00.000-08:00

It's up with my first post http://www.real-emotion4u.blogspot.com that's the chinese one so u guys can leave tags here if u all like cause there is really just to post chinese posts lol.. haha.. alright.. I'm kinda off mood today so my post aren't probably gona sound nice and so. I decided to post only later at night another post. for now good morning and have a pleasant day ahead byez~

remember 25-02-2006

2006-02-24T14:51:00.000-08:00

wonder how many people remember me on a holiday season. How many people who think of when they are happy sad or bored. I guess it's just my 4 wives... The one who still understand me most and loves me most is still my 1st(saxophone). Music can make wonders.

I was listening to LJJ songs. Then remember JJ from my secondary school lol. Funny guy haha. Back to LJJ songs lol.. Song 9 that is "now that she's gone" quite nice. The lyrics mainly.. Yupe she's gone.. zZzz.. I'm not gona say who is it but I haven't seen her for more than a month. Just to make sure others who read it dun misunderstand.

Will be taking up shaolin quan. Lol.. hope my back is ok.. Still.. I'll just say i have no records... I said i wana not talk about the past anymore so yupe. Just pressed the delete button. "deleted" yupe. So now i officially declare no martial arts background. I tore all the certs and threw com awards anyway lol.

My hand.. Argh!!! still got rash omg.. and mrs Ng wants me to get innoculated asap... but then doc say cannot if i got rash.. Zz.. so wat to do.. no choice right..

1st 2 months coming to an end. Wonder who will be my new teachers. I hope my maths still the same then econs and physics hm.. physics can still the same but econs i hope it's someone else.. Not that my current one is not good but I feel uncomfortable that's all.. Not ms sue though..Zzz... she's very strange..

Sianz today's plans all spoil le.. guess I'll be working like mad again. ha ha.. Sianz.. I'll probably open another blog for chinese posts.. Cause whenever i feel happy or sad i use chinese. When i'm monotone.. I use english.. unless I'm doing presentations of cos.. I'll drop a post on wat's the new link.. I'm not gona do anything fancy to it so yupe dun expect much. It's just a place to post chinese post lol cause this skin will crash if i do so lol..

communication 22-02-2006

2006-02-22T06:12:00.000-08:00

Do i really not know how to talk? I seem to be saying 1 point and others see it as another point.. Is there miscommunication? Even jie also can't catch wat i was saying. And i was maglin again.. haiz.. painful stab.. Jie u know me so long and so well.. surely u know I know when to talk right.. ur blog post wasn't up when i send the tag.. how i noe so accurate u talk about that.. so hurt le...

I think i'm gona have to push my team to write the executive summary by tomorrow night so we can discuss n i can come out with the final by friday and i can go out in peace. They very slow efficiency sia.. Zzz.. anywayz... I wana push them hard then win win win.. Never lost a com. the least also got special awards and recognition at least finals top 4... So I wana win again to =D gambate!!! Anyways guy's my name is now official wakaka. it's Teng Sheng Yi Div. Tada... will make my ic around 2 weeks from now cause too busy schedule up ahead but still wakaka.. It's official liao so can tell mrs Lau wakaka...

Alright I'm feeling tired le.. nitez guys... Take care...

To my dear friend. 21-02-2006

2006-02-21T05:24:00.000-08:00

Si Liang.. When u come MJ and after some conversations with u i knew u will do well n i'm right. Congrats... I still remember the other time u came out from sch during PE. I was shock about wat happened. I'm so glad u manage to get over it. Life goes on. In the end we r de ones moving on n certainly de others above will want us 2 carry on with life.

Saw u today at the canteen. U appear still very sick. Take care pal. I will miss u 2 when u leave MJ. Honestly. Still good friends r not of the moment. Dey r forever. So distance etc is not a problem. We all can do well. We all can study hard and still be good friends. God Bless and take care. Even though it is sad to have a wonderful friend leaving but leaving is not that far. no matter how far we not longer than 1hr's car ride =)

Today I felt kinda unwell.. Physical and mental. Physically. My face has been turning red for no reason even though last time it wasn't like that. I'm still using the same products. Mentally.. I guess i shouldn't have told someone about me.. It's kinda showing a negative effect already.. Back stabber.. They started discussions about me n saying all the bad things. The haven't thought of how I felt isn't it.. Push me more n i'll backstab back harder..

I got news and predicted tat ang eh will collapse in 1 yrs time at most. Even my dark has also collapsed.. Wat more say others.. 70+ people also collapsed.. Haiz.. guess that's life.. Dark and good side of people all will collapse one.. alright i need to take a nap and wake up early tomorrow. nitez n sweet dreams

Tears

2006-02-19T09:01:00.000-08:00

I guess i was the only one that enjoyed my weekend.. I looked through everyone's blog and felt like crying.. except don which was happy and wish to congradulate him =D... However the rest as I can see and feel.. Felt the stress from A level release... I wanted to post 2 post in chinese but notice my skin will have some messed up issue.. so i guess i'll have to just post english ones..

SRLD... I guess it came to a halt last year... I thought the friendship could go on.. Still.. I guess it couldn't... The last time i saw jie and chat with them was like 1 yr back.. haha.. wat a friendship that lasted only so short.. so painful... Haha.. I guess this will mark the 13th end if i were to count in.. Haha.. so painful... Each time I read their post and they are in bad moods.. I wished I could be there as a friend.. As a listening ear but I guess Fate doesn't allow me to do so.. A levels is quite a stress to them.. I duno how to help them nor at least be with them because they told me not to.. I guess all I'll be doing and still doing is crying as i write this post and the subsequent ones.. If u guys duno how is it like to be smiling laughing and crying at same time.. All i can say is that feeling sux.. It only comes because u feel useless and yet so wishing to be able to do something for others or wat happen but u could only be a bystander.. doing nothing.. That feeling sux to the core.. haha.. Let my tears warm the dead and my sorrow arise them... I'm just soon to be a demon...

Tian ba jiu, wu, cai, ming, wei na zou.. wei he ye ba wo de you yi dai zou..

190206-couz

2006-02-18T09:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday(well it's past midnight) went out with my couz. Suppose to meet at 1500 but ended up i arrived late and couldn't get them on the phone lol.. so i ended up being like the STAR team(Special Tactics And Rescue) in USA also known as swat. I went searching through all the levels of raffles city and shops in 15mins lol... Really rush until my leg tired lol.. 15mins for one building think i doing better than the STAR team themselves lol.. Anyway finally managed to call through ling wei's phone so oh well thank god. at least they finally tell me it's marina sq so i dun have to research the building... So we met up at marina square.. walk abit then headed to pan pacific cafe to meet SY(my other cousin) So aftet meeting him. The number is right(Ling Wei, Wan Xuan, Wan Ling, Shen Yao, me lol) so we headed to suntec to have a walk. ended up we went there to catch mickey mouse but to our sorrow.. we failed.. haiz.. nvm.. it's just a game.. win some lose some =)

We then went to shaw tower's restaurant that sold western food and vegetarian food. There was one girl waitress there.. quite sweet lol.. but her hair too punky so i dun like lol.. But the guy like dun like me cause i was playing with the candles lol.. Haha the guy must have hate me for wasting their candles like that lol.. but still.. it's just a wax made candle.. shouldn't be that bad.. 5 bucks for one big bag of them.. wat's 2... After that we headed to bugis and we bought boon's present(wan xuan's colleage). After that we walk abit then all go seperate ways le.

I took the mrt with Shen Yao to woodlands(destination) but in the end.. when i reach orchard then ah chuan tell me cancel le.. cause i cannot enter.. as in.. only i not going the rest of the guys wanted to go dance.. so oh well.. they go chiong dancing.. i decided to chiong home lol.. So i droped off at yio chu kang mrt station. Feeling a little hungry i wanted to eat and started walking to where there was light.. Then I walk until there like walk 10mins plus.. To my horror.. inside the restuarant is many ah beng and ah lian lol.. so i choose not to eat.. but my tummy felt super hungry lol.. wat to do.. yio chu kang there the only other place i know can makan so super the far.. like can walk until mati one zzz.. so i took bus 13 home.. finally reach home at 2330 or so.. My leg is super cramp.. thirsty and hungry.. Sigh.. they really good stamina not like me lol.. alright that marks the end of my story for the day lol.. Have fun and good night. Sweet dreams on this beautiful night.

17-02-2006

2006-02-17T07:52:00.000-08:00

Physics test was horrible. I can't get full marks afterall.. and i made stupid mistakes up till 7 marks.. Zz.. wth.. Met michael today.. my nyaa coordinator.. after he heard what i done he said i could have try for gold award... sadly i already sign up for silver... After meeting and have mac we played pool.. lol.. i guess i become noobish.. i actually missed que.. sad sad.. after that send michael off and chit chat on the way to the food centre with two other new friends then went home.

Today chat with Ah Chuan on the phone lol.. He asked me.. How come the girl that I like so much and so sincere cannot chase successfully? I told him I duno y.. So he tell me must be I dun understand girls. But honestly speaking I dun understand them.. What they think do or react.. I absolutely know nothing. Well so he became my friends and bgr guidance teacher lol.. Guess I'll be making more friends then i hope. Finaly to mark the finish, Wana wish all OGL and taking Physics to study hard and Gambate

wake up

2006-02-16T13:30:00.000-08:00

wat's wrong with u div.. wat's wrong... u can sense it don't you... sensing that something bad would happen? Wake up.. Jie has left u.. It's a fact.. So wake up.. U can't be a little kid hidding behind their skirt all ur life.. U are now alone so get the hell up... Accept it.. So wat if it was years.. When it's over it's over.. Let go.. Idiot.. stop being so emotional.. Wat do u expect to happen.. Jie to give u a call? No it won't happen..

Sorry about the above but i wish to wake up for once.. I wonder how many of the friends around me.. are my true friends... and how many are just because of my wallet... Gosh sometime i wonder if i'm a guy or girl.. it's like i'm having wat they call moodswings at times.. Zzz.. Wth... Guess it's just due to an unhappy past. Still.. Like wat mr tan said.. and wat i do know.. It's time to cut of the baggage and move on.. But still I'm an actor.. The fact that i can cry so easily.. it's because of my past.. in fact sometimes i purposely make myself cry.. haha.. first time hearing a guy can cry so easily isn't it lol... alright i need to study my physics for one last round. or else.. i mati le..

16-02-2006 Ah hui in finanacial difficulty

2006-02-15T07:52:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Ah Hui.. got caught with some problems.. haiz.. thankfully after his reservice he will start workin day shift in march so not that bad.. otherwise.. he cia lat..

I'm starting to feel the dun want study attitude.. cia lat.. how can sia.. ZZz... ok.. that reminds me.. next week meeting Ziqi.. so is go ducktour, lunch, movie, shopping and maybe dinner maybe that is.. then next time let me think where to go.. night safari??keke.. then go there eat ice cream haha.. have dinner first then go there ba lol.. otherwise eat ice cream full meh haha...

Today play my saxophone Zz.. 2nd octave E & F i cannot blow out the sound.. na bei.. i lost touch until like that.. ta ma de... i better hope next week the feeling to play those 2 notes come back.. sianz.. hao ba.. i better do work then go sleep tomorrow must study for physics test.. i wana get full marks...

Valentines Day 14-02-2006

2006-02-14T05:56:00.000-08:00

Love everywhere lol.. even the perkafe ice creams.. Ladies and gentlemen happy valentines day =D So glad today has come to an end.. considering the things I do today.. It's kind of what other's won't do on Vday.

Today I play 2 hrs of A3. Finally earn 2m for a new player haha.. sense of accomplishment... wakaka.. Then oh well better get the bot asap then i can dun manually play haha..

In the afternoon I headed down to MJ to do my duties for Perkafe. 325 slot lol.. All the way till 6 and zul was like rushing off to tuition haha.. Today sell the valentines day icecream at 4 bucks each.. At first I wanted to buy to help boost sales.. then when i look at the ice cream again. it's like eww... so ugly then i dun want buy le. no wonder sold 16 out of 100.. haiz.. that's bad..made a lost.. an utter lost..

Well so I spent my day at perkafe selling icecream.. haiz.. kinda stupid.. Well at least my 1st Vday present of the day is a Emporio Armani watch from mum.. except i had to use my card first then she pay me later Zzz.. so i left the cafe at 6 and then headed home.. reach home at 745. haiz..so late... Zzz.. tomorrow better release early or i kill Biz club..

Ok so let me say today which wife is closet to me.. As usual my 3rd and 4th wife.. Ok just incase u all duno who are my wifes. they are.. 1st Selmer Series 3 Soprano Saxophone. 2nd Laptop. 3rd Handphone. 5th wallet... and lastly but not the least and still in the factory for production.... my Ring.. Yupe.. not wedding ring of course.. except it's gona be worn there haha.. alright enough of the humour I shall say good night as I had enough laughs last night from watching Fun with Dick & Jane. If u want me to rate the show.. if u understand the show.. or is a professional in this line.. 75 marks.. if u are just a normal person.. 60 marks.. why? it's deep not variety.

O levels lol

2006-02-09T17:56:00.000-08:00

Today is the release of the O level results.. Ha.. I may not be taking the results but then I should be nervous for them ba lol.. We decided to have breakfast at TM so here I’m here on the bus.. Writing my next post of the day.

Thankfully I just took my allowance yesterday.. otherwise.. I wanted to yue wee hian go makan end up.. everyone also go makan so I guess my wallet sure tio burnt haha.. I wonder what amount will it turn to.. Sianz sianz.. Today I’m still thinking between 1.8 or my A levels.. Seriously.. I dun have confidence to do well if my parents and bro keep giving me trouble.. I’m a mensa invited.. Though I rejected it but still.. For the fact that they would want me in.. I sure have my IQ somewhere.. Yet I’m doing like shit.. WTH..

Time to sell out my RO accounts.. Like Ah Chuan say.. this kind of money can get back then get back.. no point losing it… My hopefully amount I can get back is 2k.. hopefully..

Alright I arrive at the place and need to off my lappy.. Ok now at mac lol.. Doing the orders lol.. They had to use the palm software to buy the food.. Quite kuku.. first time go mac use palm lol.. always go counter.. one good thing.. no need queue wakaka.. Ok liao.. I go lim kopi.. Bye and good luck to those taking results.. Ling wei let me know how things go hor..

Something new

2006-02-09T14:22:00.000-08:00

Well.. I may be a bad mood.. but I guess I'll have to post a more constructive post..

I will try to post a question in each post but no promises. To start off I shall begin with a small paragraph. A small topic that others may or may not have thought such a simple problem exists.

In our lives we make choices but in each choice comes a price(opportunity cost). We fail to do other things due to limitation perhaps by financial, mental, time or physical. Whatever the reason we have no choice but to agree that no one man can do everything. The question now comes to making the choice. How do we measure the choice? Is it by weighing the marginal benefits we obtain when we make a decision. Or is it the marginal cost involved if we do something else. The Net Benefit? The Net Social Benefit? Personally I decided with my cost involved; especially when it comes to decisions related to the family. It appears to be emotional I suppose. Some others would choose to look at the benefit alone and make their choice. That may be called realistic. But how to find the balance. That is where the mind of concern and the mind of influence comes in. The mind of concern is more emotional as we are bothered and concerned about problems involved. The mind of influence is more practical as it aims to change and improve. Thus being realistic. That is for my dear readers to ponder and post a comment about.

I appologise that the font size is a little small. However I’m trying to work on it to change the size or just a whole new skin but forgive me as I like final fantasy, Tifa and certainly the snow flakes haha. I’m now deciding on what new online game to play so if anyone can introduce to me I’ll be really glad to you. One thing though if have bot is best besides ragnarok online. Thanks.

I'm mad... And soon not even my surname will remain...

2006-02-09T00:44:00.000-08:00

Today marks the end of Div.. Divine was the word all along.. divine was to remind me of my dark past.. my dark side.. and now.. I am no longer having the need to be reminded.. I am the past.. Today.. I am the ice of the rain..

My brother just got his license today drove my mum and father to fetch me. My father as usual do not know how to phrase his words and keep offending me. My mother who asked me to go see the doctor.. Brought only one medicine that she suspected and my PE MC.. I was eating 9 kinds for god dam nab*i sake and wtf for the PMC letter? See my blood got to do with PMC or my back? WTH she thinking.. I tell her so many times to bring the stuff or i bring myself. then she insist she bring.. then wrong and still say where got wrong.. "I think this one got problem so i bring this one" cau bei la.. i got see doctor or she now see the doctor.. All she thought of is her own perspective.. Then the blood test result also dun want to bring.. then the doctor see wat? examine wat f*ck.. only one medicine i can guess what he want to say "I think so.. it could be due to this medication" Then my mother will be so f*cking please.. So how.. I cau bei at her.. Then she say go see doctor ong.. WTH.. at other people's clinic say want see other doctor because u forget to bring report and medication then wat offend others? Kaninah... Then I tell her I dun want see liao bad mood.. Then she say now go back take.. then I tell her u sure will forget thing again.. then she tell me to go get the number in the other clinic.. nabei man.. I say I no mood see doctor liao.. I will sure kan the doctor instead of telling him my problem.. So i fed up point middle finger and walk out in the rain.. My aggressiveness has returned.. Middle finger.. I dun point middle finger for years.. then for the last 4 months I have only been pointing to one person.. Her.. WTF man.. My fist each time want to hit her... purposely miss and dun hit her.. Today also almost hit her.. I tell u next time i hack care hit her let her die le..

Go lawyer that time when change name i sure tell him.. 死天地.. English : Hell Born.. I surname dun want.. I want be a devil... This family i dun want le.. my father only everytime know how to threaten me with one thing.. U got money to support urself meh? Tamade.. U want say like that is it.. Everything i dun want.. everything i return u.. Even my life u happy?

Tired tired..

2006-02-07T02:48:00.000-08:00

Today was quite interesting stupid lol… Was supposed to meet Ah Hui and gang but ended up he had something on and I brought my lappy for nothing haiz… Instead we are meeting in msn at 1900 to discuss about our future plans… Plans to stay on, change server or change a whole new game… Being a retainee, I have seen many things. Seen how different people are now and later in the year... Seeing how other retainees have change and others remaining the same… Like during Physics lesson; Ms Wong asked for the 3 kinematics formula and I just shouted it out to her. There was a classmate who cheered… Gosh… How could I not know the formula? After all I have been here for a year and if I dun even know this simple thing then I really have been in MJ for the 1st year doing nothing.

I then headed to the ice cream shop (Perkafe) after my GP lessons at 1525… It was a one period shift; Jason and I were happily smiling that we can rest after the first period. In the end… We were wrong… We ended up working OT into the other period and we did 2 duty slots instead… Sigh… However we closed 30mins early today… So Zu kept the key from Ms Wong… Well.. While Jason, Zu and I were cleaning up the café, some girls came and wanted to buy ice cream but we had to spread to them bad news that the café was closed… Felt so bad turning them down especially after seeing their frowning faces… Sorry please come again another day…

Hey Manel this is for you... We say that life gives us choices, life is full of coincidences but actually everything has a reason for occurring. Simply quote meeting at the supermarket… It’s because u need to buy food that’s why you go there and hence meet someone... The peers we meet, the environment we are in… They are all cause and effect.. And we as human beings say we choose what we want to do and not let others move us blindly but in the end, are we doing so? We are influenced by our environment, we change and shape with the environment such that we fit it… I guess I may have skipped being a kid but I certainly didn’t skip living =)

Mastercard

2006-02-06T00:16:00.001-08:00

I just got my last month bill from mother.. I kinda over spent once again.. no wonder they gave me only 168 for ang bao.. well.. though the number sounds nice.. an 8 is missing behind.. and i know why after i saw the bill... december.. 2k.. january.. 3k.. .so oh well.. opps... kinda over again.. Sianz.. Today got so much work to do.. then can play game after that.. wakaka.. what to do..

Went to may bank and want to make account and guess what.. 1530 close... impressive.. so i going on satuday at 0900 since it opens at 0930 and then closes at 1130... stupid bank... need to transfer 2.5k over for a deal.. sianz.. my pocket really gonna empty.

EXP

2006-02-02T05:03:00.000-08:00

Haiz.. I just check the bills for today and confirm that east shore hospital is a very expensive clinic... 200+ for the bills today.. that's nearly half my allowance.. Ouch.. heng is parents pay.. Sianz... cous call me... cause for the last few days i haven't been visiting them.. tuesday was a dinner.. wednesday is watch movie then today is another dinner.. Xiao Div here of course first two days do homework so cannot go.. yesterday one cause they mad.. want watch at lot 1.. 11p.m. de.. then today i want go sch.. then today de is dinner. but i sick so how to go...

Sianz now deciding tomorrow want go sch anot.. see how ba.. if tomorrow i feel better then go... if i still feel like sai then forget it.. afterall i tried going to sch le.. so i dun owe miss lai an explanation le..

Sick sick sick

2006-02-01T22:51:00.000-08:00

Lolz... I th0ught only ziqi sick.. end up.. a whole lot more.. let's see.. there's connie, manel, yang sheng and me.. so accurate.. I got gastric pain.. but somehow.. i'm going back to east shore le.. now down with fever... sianz sianz.. how le... so accurate.. >.<~ buy 4D also not so chun.. Well..I finished the physics notes stuff by 1230 yesterday and i didn't felt the least sick.. End up 4a.m. the pain wake me up.. then i go see doctor at eastshore.. Sianz.. then end up i remember need to pass manel the notes and help her after school.. i shake my head and go sch..

reached at 0845.. right after the first period.. then after one lesson of math.. i bua tahan le.. then go home... Sianz being on MC and the principal wants u in sch is a lousy feeling.. Ok I wish all the people who are now sick to get well soon... Now to end my blog post.. All man are human and not gods... We fall sick too... lol...

CCA

2006-02-01T05:01:00.000-08:00

CCA problem..
Well I just got the post of Assistant Marketing.. I volunteered for it.. I can't imagine what would happen if I don't.. Mrs Ng and Ms Tan would throw me to the bigger community once the J2s step down then my responsibility even bigger.. haiz.. I can't flunk another exam this yr.. So I play smart.. join competition for march de.. help them win some money and prizes then I dun need join com le.. can tell the teacher... cannot la cher... Exam le.. and i also got join one com this yr le.. wakakaka.. I'm so evil...

Sigh.. Today went to O2.. then I realise I bought the wrong phone.. Zz.. 242 when it was my number.. waited for 2.5 hrs.. Zz.. and the person said most of them got problem with O2 atom.. and indeed.. it really is an atom.. so active until got problem.. Zz.. Think i better start diverging my funds for a new phone asap...

I saw a kid playing today.. so carefree.. just going in circles and playing at the water foutain of bugis junction.. Felt a sudden sense of warmth... It felt like childhood... Perhaps because mine was spent reading my documents.. Anyone else went in the office and browse through documents at 11? Then I remember what my teacher told me.. You are a poor rich kid... When u act poor.. U r not trying to hide it.. But u r trying to lie to urself tat u are poor so u should be sad.. well.. she's right.. Weakness in the soul and heart..

XZ jie is having a bad day.. Alot of people are leaving tomorrow... I hope she remember what she told me.. true friends... these two simple but strong words are still in my mind... It's not the quantity of time or being face to face but the quality that matters.. Jie dun be sad.. smile =) I like it when u are happy =D

Ok I better go back and rush my work.. Tutors got their eyes all over me.. And besides.. I only slept 2hrs... so yupe I'm super tired.. 3 cheers to Shinsengumi.. A guild that did not win physically but won the hearts and I'm proud to be the team sub leader... We shall arise again people =) Gambate.. (P.S. Chuan, Hui n I r raising the funds needed need more time)

Last post of the day

2006-01-31T11:50:00.000-08:00

I seem to be getting used to my family... Parents that dun understand me... I don't bother to tell them about my problems either because their views are so different and 80% of the time they will disagree so why do I put myself in trouble after so many tries.. It's time I stop... My brother? haha... as good as dun have... He can go down and join my sister... Problem kid.. Sec 1 onwards nothing but trouble.. Last year I fell because of this family.. Not this time... No way... I won't allow my family to stand in the way... If I must break away or severe ties.. So be it =) afterall.. I'm a soloist..

Thankfully I didn't drink liquor.. Hey jie if u see dis pls be proud u manage to tame the dragon to stop drinking n I too kept my other half of the bargin =) Another reason is health.. I can feel it deteorating haha...

Well I said that this post is suppose to be alittle more happier so here it is.. my wife is my computer.. wakakaka... Yupe.. best friend.. best company.. best partner... Or else how I blogg here =P Let me post a joke that was told to me by a friend.. Osama, SM Lee, George B. , Sadam H. are playing mahjong together.. Who will win first ?? Answers out in my next post =D

No more fire no more me.

2006-01-31T08:15:00.000-08:00

Today went to watch movie at TM, "I not stupid too" for the 2nd time.. It's still as touching.. Afterall.. That's my boss's work.. How can i say it sux ahaha... After the show had lunch at billy something i can't remember the name.. Had Fish N fries.. Quite funny... cause I normally prefer chinese meals but duno what Manel likes so I somehow decided on western meal haha...
Some how I ened up talking to manel about TKD and Aikido for like 60% of the time haha... But it also some how reminded me of my past... A fraction that I wish to forget... A little kiddo like me... In the past was a violent, arrogant, insane fighter... At least now.. I'm a useless fighter to quote it haha... I'm not gona mention anyone about this past nor remember it.. I somehow start to forget some parts.. Like the competition names.. The face of my pmc giver haha... These things start to disappear... So is my fighting spirit.. Haha.. I guess I will try to recover and then take up wushu once more.. This time i better make sure there doesn't state "guoshu" cause that one is not for human train one.. >.<~ I want to win in the arena again... The last competition results seems quite unsatisfactory(quite obvious -.- I got a back injury) My kicks? Well.. It used to be on par with sir.. but tat was at a price of spoiling it.. Now I can't walk properly... sometimes I even have sudden pains for no reason... and that is not muscle cramp..

Met up with my RO friends after the lunch... Ah hui.. Ah Chuan.. Wan Quan and eh.. robert.. haha.. Robert I not that close though haha... Well.. haven't seen wan quan for a long time.. he seems reasonably well... Ah Hui? I'm not too sure... Afterall... It's not easy being anyone... Even the simplest responsibility of one person could be the hardest of another... I have my fare share of responsibility and I guess if I were to relive as someone else... I'll do worst of...

10 more months to the recovery of my face(quoted by doc) haha... Well.. I guess I have to be patient.. My back? I kinda given up hope haha... I wonder how many people still remember calling me Fist.. FOI... But it's a name I want to let go..

Alright.. alittle too long for a blog post.. Hopefully.. Tomorrow I get to write happier things.. At least not so much of past right now...

KD?MD?ZD?

2006-01-30T05:44:00.000-08:00

I seem to be as usual soloist again haha... typical me... At least I got the name "an" means dark... My cousins are in my parents room.. My parents in the living room with my uncles and aunts playing some card game I never play before... As for me.. I'm now bloggin =.= quite obvious ya... lol.. My little 2 cousins... Really are trouble maker.. They only want to play play play... And they never thought about consequence... My RO game got problem who responsible.. I told them not to play with my computer.. they any how install... Lagg my com.. lagg my game.. Na bei... I pay 200SGD a month for the game not to get lagg by two kiddos...

Thankfully tomorrow meeting Manel to watch movie so at least my mood still not that sour... Haha... At least that's one good thing for CNY...

Bro bought sparkles as usual.. Well.. I guess there's no harm being a kid afterall.. haha.. Alright I wish everyone a happy chinese new year.. And I mark my blogging for the day a stop.. Tomorrow is a better day =D

Chinese New Year

2006-01-29T20:51:00.000-08:00

CNY

I'm 70% complete at editing the blog stuff.. Still left some barang barang and the song.. Well yesterday was CNY... I felt some pressure.. cause my parents didn't give me alot of money for Hong Bao but I felt they shouldn't even have given it to me in the first place.. I really spent too much of their money last year... It's really too much... I feel horrible... Too much luxuries and this year I hope one thing is I can better learn to manage my funds... Hopefully with the one I like.. Well u noe the wife also helps handle the management of funds so ya.. Get it? No? Take ur time.. You'll understand haha..

Well as for the other people.. god-ma gave me quite abit even though business is no good.. Feel alittle sorry for them... Afterall they are my god parents... And certainly I have not been doing what a god-son should... As for celebration.. Well we watched Kungfu Mahjong 2 and herbie.. Quite funny ahaha.. Then we played poker all the way... My bicycle deck.. haiz.. so smooth the deck.. spoil liao... =.= 7 dollars each Zz.. think next time CNY I better stock up 5 decks or so... Zz...

My phone went mad for CNY... My online game i'm playing? hehe.. got a 200SGD value worth of item wakaka... so well i guess it balances for wat i lost... Well It's time I do some tutorials and finish up my work...

CNY aspirations 1. Get 1st in MJ for at least 1 subject and Bs for the rest.. 2. The person I like.. 3. Get my back recovered and go back into the arena and finish up what i wanted.. no. 1 and national fighter.. 4. Start a business and then donate 50% of profits to charity anually and the rest given to partners and parents I simply owe them too much... 5. Last but not the least I want her to be happy always =)